


"No feelings?" "No feelings."

by spicydoritox



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Bokuto Koutarou has a big dick, F/M, Fluff, Friends With Benefits, Idiots in Love, Loss of Virginity, M/M, More characters appear but those are the main ones, Smut, Trust Issues, and a bit of angst, everyone is bi btw
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-12
Updated: 2021-02-26
Packaged: 2021-03-16 20:01:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 25,539
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28712442
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spicydoritox/pseuds/spicydoritox
Summary: It had been a few months since you had moved in with your cousin Atsumu and 3 of his teammates from MSBY. Everything was going great, you were young, fresh out of college and living with 4 guys who managed to bring a smile to your face everyday.But one night out with the cheerful ace would change everything, bringing up some feelings you had managed to ignore for months.
Relationships: Bokuto Koutarou/Reader, Miya Atsumu/Sakusa Kiyoomi
Comments: 16
Kudos: 117





	1. 1. Two tequila shots

“So what’s the plan for tonight? Going out? Hey, we could throw a party here! It’s not late, we still have time to buy drinks” Bokuto emerged from his room and started making his way down the stairs while rambling loudly, as he used to do.

“Sorry dude, I already have plans. Coach Ukai is coming to the city this weekend so we are having dinner with the other members of the old team who live here as well.” Hinata excused himself without tearing his gaze away from the tv screen, where he was playing Mario Kart against you.

“I can’t go out either, I have a date.” Said Atsumu. He was laying on the couch, his legs thrown over yours. This kind of physical closeness was common between both of you, he was your cousin and you had grown up together, Osamu and him being almost like older brothers to you. Your ways had separated a bit when you were 17 and your father had sent you to Europe, in order to finish High school there and then attend some prestigious university. You had still seen both of your cousins regularly, during summer and on Christmas holidays, so you had managed to keep in touch with them.

Last year you had finally graduated college and gotten your degree on Material’s engineering. Living in Europe had been great, and you had had lots of good times there, discovering new countries and making friends from different places, but you missed your home and your family, so you had decided to go back to your country and pursue your master’s degree there. When you had told Atsumu you were going to live in the same city as him, he was so excited to have you close again he didn’t waste any time and offered you a place in the flat he had just rented with three of his MSBY team mates. You weren’t sure at first, new people weren’t the thing you liked the most, but your cousin sounded so happy thinking about the idea… and the university was pretty close to their flat, so in the end you accepted the proposal. At first you had been a bit shy, staying in your room most of the time, but a couple of nights having dinner and drinking with your cousin’s friends had been everything you needed to come out of your shell. Hinata and Bokuto approached you as if they had known you for years, they were loud and you never got bored being around them, so it was easy for you to get yourself to enjoy being with them. Even Sakusa, who seemed more reserved at first, had made an effort to talk to you more and after realizing you were definitely the most sensible and tidiest person in the house after him, he became fond of you and you quickly became friends.

“A date? With that girl from the gym?” You asked Atsumu. He nodded and told you he didn’t really have high expectations for the night, but they had planned this a few days ago and he would feel bad ghosting the girl now. You didn’t believe things were exactly like that, he was probably bored because Sakusa was out of town, visiting his family for the weekend, so your cousin didn’t have anyone to annoy for the night. You had also noticed that he used to talk less about his love life when his black haired friend was near; of course, you hadn’t mentioned this to Atsumu, knowing he would get all defensive saying none of that was true.

“You are both leaving me? On a Friday night? I feel betrayed.” Bokuto continued walking down the last steps of the stairs. He stopped in front of the tv, blocking your view of it, and making you three pay him attention. “How about you? Please tell me you don’t have anything planned for tonight as well.” He asked you, hopeful.

“I- uh- I was planning on staying home and studying at night, I have a test next week. So, yeah, I have plans too, sorry.” You were tired and didn’t really had the energy to go out today.

“Come on, would you rather stay home studying or go out with me on a Friday night?” He asked “You don’t need to answer, I already know what you are going to say. So come on, go to your room and get dressed, we are leaving in half an hour and getting drunk tonight!” He was already running up the stairs to go back to his room again, to get changed probably.

“Bokuto, I _have_ to study, would it be so awful to stay home on a Friday night?”

He looked at you from the stairs, leaning on the railing and pouting cutely. “Pleaseeeeeeee” He begged.

“I mean, you always say you are going to study and usually you end up playing video games until 5am and studying everything the night before the test. I’m sure you can go out tonight with him.” Atsumu said.

“You are only saying that because you don’t want to hear him complain for hours.”

“Pleaseeeee” Bokuto repeated from his high position.

You sighed. Deep down you knew Atsumu was right and you would probably get nothing done tonight, maybe you could try and study when you came back later, you always studied better late at night. “Okay, we can go out and have dinner somewhere. But please, not getting drunk, then I’ll try studying when we come back home.”

“Great!” Bokuto cheered and run upstairs, his door closing a few moments later. You stood up and stretched, before you left to your room you threw both Hinata and Atsumu a look.

“You owe me one for doing this, he would be extra annoying for days if I had said no.” Your flatmates gave you thumbs up and a smile before going back to playing mario kart. Ten minutes later you were fresh out of the shower, getting ready to go out.

\------------------------------------

“So, where do we go now?” You asked. Bokuto had brought you to the centre of the city and you had been walking around and going into different shops for the last couple of hours.

“What about there?” Your eyes followed Bokuto’s finger.

“A tattoo studio?”

“Yeah, what if I got a tattoo?”

“Right now? Have you even thought about the design or the place you would want it to be?”

“Uhh, I don’t know, on my back maybe? And about the design, something cool, of course.” He smiled to himself as if “something cool” was just something you could say to the tattoo artist and expect them to understand what you wanted.

“I’ve thought about getting one too, but as cool as I find them, I don’t know if they are worth the pain.” At that, Bokuto looked at you as if you had said the stupidest thing ever.

“How would something as cool as that hurt? You just have to put it on your skin and then put some water on it. It doesn’t hurt, don’t worry about it.” He told you, as if he were talking to a scared child.

“ _Put water on it? Did this guy actually think a professional tattoo was the same thing as those temporary tattoos that came in with Cheetos when we were kids? Just… What?”_ You stood there, not even knowing how to start explaining to him how wrong he was, but after thinking about it for a moment you decided you didn’t want to invest your energy on doing that, so you just grabbed him by the shoulders and turned him around, getting away from the tattoo studio and searching for something that would entertain him.

Finally, Bokuto had started complaining that he was hungry, and you had ended up at a Mexican Restaurant. He was now happily eating tacos while telling you a story about Akaashi, his best friend, and seemed to have forgotten about the tattoo idea.

“So, yeah, I was going to eat that, but then Akaashi appeared out of nowhere and literally took it out from my mouth before I could swallow it” He laughed loudly “He scolded me and said that that was poisonous and blablabla but he was probably exaggerating”

“He seems like a really good guy. I mean I’ve only met him two times, but he gave me those vibes from the first moment. I gotta ask you, did you two ever…?” Bokuto talked so much about his best friend that you couldn’t help but wonder if there was something more between them.

“Hook up? Yeah. We experimented a lot back in highschool, everyone on the team did, to be honest. But it never developed into anything serious and now we just see each other as friends.” He licked the sauce from his finger slowly, deep in thought. “He is single now, I can give you his phone number, in case you are interested in him.

“Oh thank you but it’s not like that…” You laughed awkwardly. “He is probably great, but I’m not really looking for anything now. And I don’t think he is exactly my type.”

“No?” He asked, as if surprised that Akaashi wasn’t somebody’s type. “What’s your type then?”

“Hmmm, I don’t really _have_ a type; but if I had to say something…” You thought about the qualities shared by the people you had been involved with romantically in the past. “I think that just being straight up funny gets anyone like 80% of the job done. Yeah, I like people who can make me laugh easily and with whom I can have fun doing the most mundane things. I also lean more to people who talk a lot, probably because I can be a bit asocial and unapproachable sometimes, so probably getting involved with someone who’s not able to get me out of my shell wouldn’t work out. And… maybe this sounds stupid, but I need to be friends, or at least get to know them for some time, before anything else happens. I feel really uncomfortable if I don’t actually know the other person. I have made out with strangers in the past but I’m not really into it” You thought about it some more, but nothing else seemed to come to your mind. “Yeah, I think that’s it.”

Bokuto looked at you for some time, chewing slowly. “You know, that kinda sounds like me.”

A laugh escaped your lips “What? Which part?”

“Uh, all of them?” He sounded sincere “I make you laugh. You probably haven’t noticed but some days, when you look sad or stressed out about your exams, I actively try to make laugh more because I don’t like seeing you like that. I also think I’m pretty good at getting you to be more social, just look at us right now” He continued, gesturing to our surroundings. “You wanted to stay home, and I managed to bring you here and make you socialize a bit. And well, about the third point… we are friends, aren’t we?” He smiled widely while you sat there, baffled. He was certainly making some points, but still how could be saying all of that so calmy, considering all the implications it carried? When you didn’t say anything, Bokuto kept talking. “You can say whatever you want but I think you are smart enough to have noticed the unspoken tension there is between us since day one.” He took a sip from his drink, waiting for you to answer, completely unbothered by the situation.

As much as you wanted to deny what he had just said, you couldn’t. There had definitely been some kind of tension between both of you since day one. The situation had become even more tense after you had accidentally walked in on him naked one day; his shower wasn’t working and he had decided to use the bathroom you shared with Atsumu, without telling you because “come on, it was going to be a 5-minute shower, how could I imagine you were going to walk in???”. He had made you breakfast for three days, trying to apologize to you for having to see his dick. Still, you had decided long ago you were going to ignore all the attraction you felt for him, because hooking up with one of your flatmates, one of your cousin’s friends AND teammate, seemed like a terrible idea.

“We aren’t having this conversation right now.” You stated, then turned around to see if there were any waiters nearby. Bokuto just shrugged. “Do you want a tequila shot? I feel like I need one right now.”

“I thought you said we weren’t drinking today?” He asked. You just gave him a glare as if to say ‘shut up, this is your fault for bringing that up “Okay, I’m in. Tequila shots then”

As soon as one of the waiters was near you, you called for him “Two tequila shots please.”

\---------------------------------------

As soon as you entered home, you went straight to your room to leave your coat and change into something more comfortable. You heard Bokuto going upstairs to his room, to do the same thing as you, probably, considering he had dropped the entire bowl of sauce on top of him when he had stood up too quickly from his chair at the restaurant, after hearing a song he liked. When your door closed behind you, you couldn’t help sighing and closing your eyes as you breathed in deeply trying to calm down Your heart was beating insanely fast.

“Why the _fuck_ am I so nervous?” You whispered to yourself. That conversation back at the restaurant had brought up a subject you had been trying to avoid for months. You were now worried about the consequences that acknowledging the attraction that existed between you two could bring. After thinking about it for another minute you decided to do what you always did when you had a problem: ignore it.

You changed into some loose cotton shorts and put on a big sweater. It was March, and it was cold outside, but the heater was turned on and the temperature at the flat was nice enough that you could spend your days in shorts, as you preferred them over long pijama pants. Then, you made your way to the living room; on the way back home, in an attempt to carry a normal conversation, Bokuto and you had agreed on playing video games when you were home. You sat down on the sofa, scrolling through your phone in silence, waiting for Bokuto to come down. Soon you heard him walking down the stairs that were just behind you, the ones which lead to Hinata’s bedroom. You looked at him out of the corner of your eye, he was now wearing black sweatpants and a loose white tshirt. 

“Yeah, I’ve checked Hinata and Atsumu’s bedroom and they haven’t come back yet.” Bokuto said flopping down on to the couch, next to you. “So… we are all alone.” He added, turning to look at you expectantly. God, there was so much tension in the air.

Your heart was beating fast again. You were going to say something, anything, to break this tension; but as soon as you looked at him, your eyes dropped to his lips. He noticed and then leaned in a bit, as if asking for permission to take the next step. One more look was everything you both needed before you were devouring each other.

There were a couple of soft kisses before you started exchanging intense, almost desperate ones. Your arms wrapped around Bokuto’s neck and you slipped your tongue into his mouth, making him moan. He pulled you on to his lap without separating his lips from yours, and continued kissing you deeply, his fingers tangling in your hair.

_“What the hell are you doing??? I thought we had agreed that THIS was NOT happening”_ the logical part of yourself screamed inside your head. But the other half of you, the one who didn’t listen to any logical argument, could only concentrate on how good Bokuto’s mouth felt against yours, on how his right hand was making its way down your back, reaching more dangerous places. Right now, the only thing you could focus on was how he had started rocking his hips below you.

Gasping for air, you finally broke the succession of kisses. Bokuto was looking at you with those big golden eyes and, even though his hand was now clearly on your ass, he still managed to wear an almost innocent smile. How could a person look so hot and so freaking cute at the same time?

“Are you sure this is a good idea?” You asked, still breathless, unlooping your arms from around his neck and letting your hands rest against his chest.

He looked surprised to be asked that “Why not? We are both single, we aren’t doing anything bad.”

“I know we aren’t doing anything bad, but we live together. Before we do anything else we should think about how this may change things. A few kisses, or even something else, mean nothing to me and if you were any other guy we probably wouldn’t even have this conversation, but I really don’t want things to be awkward between us later.”

“So if I assure you this is not going to change anything about our friendship, you will be okay with keeping this going?” You nodded “Okay then, I promise this is just going to be a steamy makeout session with the most amazing guy you will ever the pleasure of meeting, nothing else, no awkwardness or funny feelings later” He then grabbed your hips and rolled you over so that he had you pined down on the sofa, below him. “Also, this was going to happen eventually. Probably better if it happens right now and not when one of us is already taken and we are doing something that’s actually bad” He added smiling, and before you even had the opportunity to answer, he attacked you mouth once again.

Normally, you would have argued with that _“This was going to happen eventually?”_ Said whom??? You had ignored all the attraction you felt for him for months, you probably could have managed to ignore it for even more time. But deep down you knew he was right, and this happening had just been a matter of time.

Also, Bokuto was now leaving a trail of kisses down your neck, and your brain wasn’t exactly functioning at its 100% because of that, so maybe this was not the best time to start an argument.

When he bit softly on your collarbone, sucking hard on the skin there, you gasped and brought your hands to his soft hair. You felt him smile against your neck “Sensitive part, huh? You like that?”

“If you are going to leave any marks just don’t make them super obvious, I wouldn’t really like having to wear a scarf in my own house.”

“Okay, okay.” He brought his lips back to yours, his tongue going all the way into your mouth. Your hands were now going under his shirt, touching his abs and his chest. How could he have this body? Yeah, you had seen him shirtless countless times -living with four guys who were working out every day for hours meant you had to get accustomed to seeing them without their tops, it had never really bothered you- but _touching_ him was absolutely different. You could feel every muscle under your touch, perfectly defined. You getting so touchy brought a smile to his lips again, and he got rid of his shirt in an instant, giving you more access to his body. Given that opportunity, your hands directly went to his back. You had caught yourself looking at it more than once. Bokuto’s back was broad and muscular. God, you had wanted to touch it and see what it felt like so many times… and now you had full access to it. Lucky for you, it seemed that was one of his sensitive spots, because as soon as your finger started ghosting over the skin of his back, Bokuto couldn’t help but moan against your mouth. He started rocking his hips against yours faster, trying to get any friction. You could feel him getting hard, his erection rutting against your leg every time he buckled his hips forward, the fabric of his sweatpants the only thing between it and your bare skin.

Next, his hand went to the front of your shorts and he pressed a finger against your clothed slit, feeling how wet the fabric was already. He rubbed his hand over that part a little bit more, eliciting soft gasps that escaped your lips. His hand then found its way into your panties, slow at first. He looked at you to make sure you wanted this and when you brought your mouth to his and kissed him deeply, with such passion that made his heart skip a beat (Something he wouldn’t tell you later. No funny feelings, that was the agreement), his hand went all the way down your panties, his thumb rubbing at your clit.

You didn’t like being the only one receiving this “treatment”, it was stupid, but you had always felt vulnerable if you were de only one getting pleasured, letting the other person focus on every expression, every sound you made. With this thought in your now very clouded mind, your hand moved from Bokuto’s back all the way down his chest, abs and V-line, reaching the waistband of his sweatpants. You easily slipped your hand past those and palmed him through his boxers just as he had done with you. The fabric was wet at the edge of the tent his dick had created, where the tip, leaking precome, would be. When your hand finally went past that final barrier of clothes and you wrapped your hand around his member, Bokuto let out a shaky breath, squeezing his eyes shut for a moment.

“Fuck, I’ve wanted to do this for so long. You have no idea” He whispered in your ear, still rubbing circles on your clit with his right hand.

“You did?” You asked, your hand moving now faster up and down his length. With your thumb you touched the head. He seemed to like that, moaning in your ear.

“I don’t think you realize the effect you have on me.” At that moment one of his fingers went into your opening and started pumping in and out, leaving you breathless. His lips came back to your neck, leaving open-mouthed kisses all over it.

“Well, I’m definitely realizing it right know” You managed to say, laughing a bit. “I am also realizing that if one of our dear flatmates comes home right know he will witness this scene as soon as he enters home”. The front door of the flat lead to a wide open space occupied by both the kitchen and the living room (the flat had been designed in a minimalist style, so there weren’t any walls separating both rooms, just some pillars for support here and there).

“Don’t care” Bokuto said, adding a second finger into you, making you gasp into his touch.

You would literally die if Hinata, or, even worse, your cousin, came home right now and saw you two like this. It would be the most embarrassing thing to have ever happened to you; but right now all you could think about was the guy on top of you and how good his fingers felt. Also, even if you hated to admit it, the danger of the situation was turning you on even more, and, based on the sounds Bokuto was making now, he felt the same way. So behind that heart of gold was hidden a masochist? Interesting.

Both of you were close, you could feel it, so you picked up pace and touched Bokuto harder, faster. He started moaning your name, not even caring if he was starting to be a bit loud, as he thrust his fingers into you, just in the right angle, which had you seeing stars. A few more movements and you felt yourself coming on to his fingers, letting out a shaky breath. Your hand went up and down Bokuto’s length, spreading his precum all the way and soon he was coming too, painting his boxers and your hand in white. He let his head drop on your shoulder while both of you gasped for air. The clarity post-orgasm returning to you, you realized how impulsive and stupid both of you had been, doing this here, luckily no one had come home during that time, but next time, well _if_ there was a next time, you should be more careful.

The only sounds in the room were both of you breathing hard, and the rain hitting the wide windows. When had it started to rain? You hadn’t noticed. Bokuto raised his head from your shoulder and looked at you. He was smiling widely, and he leaned down to kiss you deep one more time, cradling your cheek in his palm. This softness made your heart leap.

“Ok, we really should try to look decent before one of those two comes back.” You said pushing him off you and standing up from the couch before making your way to the kitchen’s sink to wash your hands, still sticky with Bokuto’s cum. You looked in his direction, he was still sitting on the couch, without his t-shirt, looking at you as if he were really pleased with himself. “What?”

“Nothing. Just thinking about how much fun this was. We should repeat it another day, if you are up for it.”

“Yeah, yeah. Now put your t-shirt on.” He obeyed slipping it on and came to the kitchen too. He opened the fridge and got a bottle of water, which he started chugging down. “I think I’m gonna go to bed now, I probably wouldn’t be able to focus right now on studying, so I’ll just go to sleep and wake up early tomorrow.” You said while he handed you the now empty bottle so you could throw it in the bin, which was next to you.

“Oooh, did I leave you that exhausted?” He teased, wiggling his brows.

“I’m a professional procrastinator, and as Atsumu said, I probably wouldn’t have studied in the end, even if _this_ hadn’t happened, don’t flatter yourself dude” You sticked your tongue out to him and he laughed.

You started to make your way to room, which was on the corridor to the left, Bokuto following just behind you. When you both reached your door, you turned around and put a hand on his shoulder “Bokuto, I know you are probably deeply in love with me after what just happened, but you are not coming into my room.” You said trying to sound solemn.

“Oh we are talking about love now? I thought we had agreed about the “No funny feelings after this” rule” He laughed “Maybe you are the one who has now fallen deeply in love with me and you are going back to your room because you are scared of not being able to control yourself if we stay more time together.”

“Yeah you wish.”

“Did you mean that earlier?” He asked, his expression turning a bit more serious (even though he still looked like a dork)

“Did I mean what?”

“When I said we should do this again another time, you didn’t exactly say no. Would you like that?” His eyes were big and full of hope, and it honestly melted your heart. You thought about it for a sec. This? Happening more than once? Well, it had definitely been fun. More than that, it had exactly been what you had needed. Your relationship with sexuality when it involved another person was…. Strange, and finding someone you trusted enough to do this kind of things was odd. If there were no feelings involved… what could go wrong?

“No feelings?” You asked, before making a decision.

“No feelings.”

“Okay then.” Bokuto smiled and shook the hand you had offered to him. “One more thing, would you mind if we uh- kept this as a secret? I still don’t know how the others would feel knowing we are doing… this. Also, I’m like a little sister to Atsumu, I don’t think he would take it well, he can be a little overprotective sometimes.”

“Sure, if that’s what you want we will keep it a secret between us. I’ll let you sleep now, do you- uh- want a goodnight kiss?”

His sudden shyness surprised you. Fuck, he was so freaking cute all you wanted to do at that moment was take him into your room and kiss him senseless. But you knew better, so instead you just pulled him down into a deep “goodnight” kiss.

Just as you were pulling away from each other, you heard someone’s keys at the front door and a few seconds later Atsumu entered the flat. His nose was red from the cold outside and he smiled when he saw both of you at the end of the corridor leading to his room (which was in front of yours) and started making his way there. “Hey guys! How was the night?” He asked happily.

Before Bokuto had the chance to open his mouth, you spoke. You knew you lied way better than him. “It was cool, we went to the centre of the city and then we had dinner at a Mexican place, you would like it, we could go one of these days.” Atsumu nodded at your suggestion and opened the door to his room, throwing his coat on to his bed from the door. He then said he was going to get something to eat, and as soon as he turned his back to you to go to the kitchen, Bokuto grabbed your face as gave you one last kiss before whispering ‘good night’ and then making his way to the kitchen to join his friend, who had started talking about the terrible date he just had. You would have been mad about that kiss, but well, that was just pure Bokuto, impulsive and natural, you should have expected something like that.

Smiling to yourself you wished both boys goodnight and closed the door behind you before dropping on to the bed and sighing deeply. Unconsciously you brought your fingers to your lips, still feeling the ghost of Bokuto’s kiss. When you realized what you were doing you cursed under your breath _“What are you? A teenager? That was just a kiss, and based of the agreement you’ve just made with him there will be a hundred more, so start building up walls before you catch any unwanted feeling.”_ Yeah, it would be easier that way. With that in mind, and trying, but failing, not to think about Bokuto’s hands on your body, you slipped into bed and finally fell asleep.


	2. 2. Join me in the shower

The cold air of the winter morning made your lungs ache with every breath you took.

“Atsumu! Wait for me! My legs aren’t as long as yours I can’t keep up!” You shouted for your cousin. He stopped running forward but kept jogging in place, waiting for you impatiently.

“Come on, we’ve only been running for 25 minutes. Is this all you can take? That’s pretty pathetic you know.” You threw him a glare, still too breathless to argue back.

You were seriously at your limit and all you wanted to do was sit down and never get up again. There was something stopping you from doing that, though: your own pride. You had been the one to convince Atsumu to go running together, _at 8 am_ _(great idea!)_ , telling him you wanted to get in shape and engage into healthier life habits. That had seemed like such a marvelous idea yesterday, but then you had started watching Netflix and hadn’t gone to bed until 4am. That hadn’t stopped your cousin from waking you up at 7:30 and threatening to throw a bucket of cold water on you if you weren’t out of bed in less than 10 minutes (something you were sure he would do. He had done it in the past.) On top of that, when you had asked him to do this, he had told you it was a stupid idea and that you weren’t going to last past 30 minutes running.

So, yeah, stopping right now would be an insult to your own pride.

You didn’t know how, but you managed to last another 20 minutes, before telling Atsumu that it was enough and that you had decided to not do this again. He laughed at you but you were too tired to punch him.

When you were finally breathing in an almost normal way, you suggested stopping by the store on the way home so you could buy some eggs and make pancakes for breakfast. It was Tuesday and the boys didn’t have to go train with the team until 12:00 pm; you didn’t have to go to class today, so everyone would be home for breakfast. While looking through the food shelves, you decided to buy some tangerines and strawberries to make some syrup for the pancakes.

When you were exiting the store, you saw two girls eyeing Atsumu and you. They seemed to be discussing something, still looking in your direction, and when they realized you were leaving they quickly approached you, asking Atsumu for a photo. Things like this were starting to happen more and more lately; being professional volleyball players, your flatmates appeared regularly on tv. On top of that the four of them were really good looking and after starting living together, their funny everyday Instagram stories had helped them gain a huge amount of fans. You had started getting accustomed to being approached by random people asking for pictures when you were out with them. However, you were definitely not getting accustomed to what happened next.

“Can we take a picture with you as well?” One of the girls asked you cheerfully. Your expression of disbelief must have been clear, because your cousin kicked you discreetly, forcing you into being nice.

“Sure” You forced a smile.

You took the photo and hated every moment of it. Much to your displease, lately you had been gaining popularity on the net too. Your Instagram had already been quite popular before this, filled with your experiences back in Europe, with book recommendations, and lately you had even started streaming while playing videogames. But moving in with 4 famous volleyball players had been what had really pushed your followers count, so now even you were getting asked for photos.

When the girls had thanked you and left, Atsumu started laughing out loud. “You should have seen your face, I was trying so hard not to laugh and it was painful.” You shot him a glare. “C’mon, is getting attention that bad?”

“No, its not. I’m just not accustomed to it. And I don’t really like interacting with strangers.”

“Pfft, you can be such an asocial gremlin sometimes its actually incredible we are even family.”

“Dude, I don’t think you are exactly what I would label as a friendly person either. Your personality sucks.”

“Yeah, and that’s where I see our resemblance, because yours does too.”

You both laughed and started making you way back home again, remembering those times when Osamu would get mad at you two for not interacting with others. With time, Atsumu had grown past that, in your case, not so much.

\------

The first thing you heard when you entered the flat was Hinata’s scream. You quickly made your way in, Atsumu behind you. The scene was crazy.

Hinata was hanging by one hand from the highest part of the railing of the stairs that led to his room, on the upper floor. Bokuto was dragging a mattress (Atsumu’s mattress?) on the floor, going in Hinata’s direction. Sakusa was completely ignoring the situation, focusing on cleaning the living room, where someone had left last night’s dinner leftovers.

“What the fuck is happening here?” You asked, not understanding a single thing.

Bokuto spun around after hearing your voice. “Oh you are here thank god! Okay so, I dared Shoyo to climb on the railing but, like, on the outer part, you know to see how high he would go. And he went all the way up!!” He added, sounding amazed. Hinata screamed again. “But then one of his hands slipped so now he can’t go down again.”

“And why are you dragging my mattress into the living room?” Atsumu asked, he tried to sound serious and mature, but you could see in his eyes that he was amazed by Hinata’s actions and that he would definitely have cheered on him to do that had he been home.

“I was going to put it down right below him so he could jump down safely. I was going to get Kiyoomi’s mattress at first because his room is closer, but he didn’t let me.”

“Don’t touch my things.” Sakusa added, still cleaning, his back turned to all of you.

“And didn’t you think about climbing the stairs yourself and helping him from there? Pulling him up?” You questioned Bokuto. His eyes went big.

“You are a genious.” He turned around and run upstairs. In less than a minute Hinata was safely on the ground and Atsumu was dragging his mattress back to his room.

You started whipping the eggs with sugar, while Hinata and Bokuto jumped around you explaining that the reason Hinata’s hand had slipped from the railing was because Bokuto had dared him to do all of that _after_ washing his hands with soap. You just sighed trying to comprehend how stupid this two could be sometimes.

“You know, you could have helped them instead of standing there like a clean freak” You heard Atsumu say, after he entered the room again and approached Kiyoomi, who was still cleaning in silence.

“Maybe I wouldn’t be cleaning right now if someone had the fucking decency of cleaning after they’ve had dinner instead of leaving everything on the table.”

“It was just a plate, it’s not that serious.”

“Maybe you enjoy living in a trashcan, I mean, just look at your disgusting room, but I don’t.”

Atsumu was about to snap back when you coughed loudly, he looked at you and understood the look you gave him ‘Shut up and help him clean up or I’ll kick your ass later’. Without saying anything else he started tidying everything up in silence. Out of the corner of your eye you could see Kiyoomi smiling to himself, his back to the other man.

Suddenly, you had to stop everything you were doing. A hand was on your ass. To clarify, Bokuto’s hand was on your ass. He was standing next to you, acting as if nothing else was happening and talking to Hinata, who was sitting across the kitchen counter, cutting up the tangerines. You were aware that none of the others could see what was happening, with the counter blocking their views, but still… really? Doing this now while the other 3 where in the same room as you two?

A few days had passed since Bokuto and you had shared that… _intimate_ night and had later agreed on basically being friends with benefits, keeping it a secret from the others. Regardless of that last part, it seemed that tempting destiny and risking being caught by stealing kisses from you when someone was in the same room turned Bokuto on, so he had been doing it for the past days. They had all been soft, quick kisses. Nothing else. But now Bokuto was touching your ass while you were all in the room. And he was enjoying every second of it.

He dropped his hand when Atsumu approached you to stick his finger into the pancake dough, he was quickly the target of a new set of insults coming from Kiyoomi.

When the pancakes where ready, the five of you sat down on the dining table to have breakfast. Hinata started telling you all that Yachi was visiting next weekend so you started discussing ideas for what you could do those days, places you could go out to have lunch and which club was the best for going out after that.

Soon it was 11am. The four volleyball players went to their rooms to get ready to leave after you insisted that you could clean up on your own. You didn’t really have anything to do today. When you finished and everything was immaculate (something Sakusa would appreciate) you went to your bathroom to take a shower and decided to take a nap later, after all you had only slept 3 hours.

\----------

It was Saturday afternoon and you had been in front of your laptop for hours. Sakusa and Atsumu had left to get groceries a while ago. When they had been picked to go together grocery shopping on your weekly housework distribution (Every Saturday you distributed who would be responsible of the different chores for next week: cleaning, cooking, getting groceries…) they had complained loudly. They always liked to be dramatic in that way, even though you all knew that once they went out they it would take them hours to come back (a lot more time than what you needed to just get groceries). Hinata and Bokuto where in the living room playing on the Nintendo after exercising. You wished you could be there with them but you had been stuck on the same point of your project there was no way you were getting up from that chair until you fixed that.

A loud thump at the door startled you, and you tore your gaze away from the screen of your laptop, taking out one of your earphones. A few seconds later the door opened and Bokuto casually strolled into your room. “Hey” he greeted you and laid down on your bed. He had a bowl of ice cream in his hands.

“Did you just crash against my door?”

“Yeah, I was concentrating on not dropping my ice cream and I forgot to open the door.”

You forced down a laugh but couldn’t help the smile that appeared on your lips. “And what do you want?”

“I’m bored.”

“And you want me to give you attention?” He nodded eagerly, and looked at you expectantly, as if he was waiting for you to start doing backflips. “I’m busy right now, why don’t you go to Hinata’s room. I’m sure he is full of energy and will happily hang out with you.”

“He just left, so you are the only person I can hang out with right now.” You sighed, there was really no escaping from this. “What are you doing?” He stood up and nodded towards your laptop screen, which showed lots of numbers and pictures he didn’t understand.

“This? I’m making a 3D model of a cell, trying to see how it adapts to a material I have designed to keep it at certain conditions.”

Bokuto nodded, still looking at your screen “Looks cool” He stated, before sitting down on the floor, his back resting at the side of your bed, his legs stretched out, touching your feet with his. He didn’t say anything else, and just sat there finishing his ice cream while you returned to working on your model. Soon he finished eating and quickly got bored again; you could feel him observing you in silence.

“What?” You asked.

“Nothing.”

“You are staring at me and it’s making me nervous.”

“I was just thinking you look pretty when you are concentrating on something.” He said casually. You felt your face turning red. You were wearing an old big tshirt you used as sleeping dress because it reached your knees, you hadn’t been sleeping a lot lately because finals were approaching and you really needed to study, so you also had dark circles under your eyes (not that you managed to get rid of them when you slept well, but now they were more defined...). You considered yourself pretty and all of that, but that moment wasn’t exactly your peak of beauty.

“Well, I can’t concentrate with you being there just staring at me.”

“Then maybe you should drop that for a while and pay attention to me.” He suggested, crawling towards you. He was now kneeling in front of you and he kissed your right thigh, his eyes not leaving yours.

“Bokuto…” You whispered. He stood up on his knees and now your faces were almost at the same height, so next he brought your lips down to his. There was none of that softness his previous, spontaneous kisses had shown. This kiss was just straight up sinful. Teeth clashing, tongues trying to get into each other’s mouth. You suddenly felt him bit softly on your bottom lip and couldn’t help but moaning into his mouth. When he pulled away you found yourself chasing after his mouth, annoyed those lips weren’t kissing you anymore. At that he smiled cockily, before latching his mouth on your neck, leaving long, wet kisses there. You could already feel yourself getting wet and cursed under your breath. Bokuto let out a short breathless laugh and soon his hands went up your thighs and under your dress. He moved aside the front part of your panties and two of his fingers started touching your wetness. When both fingers were damp he pulled them out and brought them into his mouth, licking them clean, not breaking eye contact with you at any time. You could only sit there, your pupils blown wide, observing him do that. That was probably the hottest thing you had ever seen, and you felt your inner walls pulsing in response to it.

Bokuto stood up and easily looped his arms around the back of your knees and your shoulders, lifting you up and princess carrying you to the bed. He let you down softly and crawled on top of you, in order to kiss you one more time. He looked down at you and tugged at the end of the tshirt you were wearing. “Can I take this off?” He asked for permission, his voice hoarse. You just nodded, not risking saying anything because you weren’t sure about your ability to form sentences right now. Asking you to lift your hips, Bokuto helped you out of your clothes. You weren’t wearing a bra underneath that, you had wanted to be comfortable while you worked on your projects, and the ace licked his lips at the sight. His fingers ghosted over you right nipple, the slightest touch making you throw your head to the side, eyes closed. You shared another soft kiss before his mouth made his way down to your breasts, his tongue circling your left nipple before he started sucking on it. While his mouth paid attention to your upper part, his fingers found their way to your wetness again and he started pumping them in an out, painfully slowly.

“Ah- h, Bokuto lemme help you ou-“ You felt bad, being the only one who was getting pleasured. He was probably hard inside his sweatpants, so you tried to reach his waistband with your hand, in an attempt of helping him get off too, but Bokuto caught your wrist and pined it down behind your head.

“No. Let me focus on you for now. I want you to relax and just concentrate on feeling good.” You were going to argue, but he brought his lips to yours to make you shut up. “Lift your hips up again” He commanded. You did as you were told and he helped you out of your panties, so you were now laying completely naked while he was completely dressed on top of you. You thought that the whole situation was unfair, but soon your mind stopped processing your thoughts, when Bokuto, after leaving a trail of kisses down your body, sucked hard on your clit. He went down a bit more, leaving open-mouthed kisses al over your cunt before he started pumping his tongue in and out of it, leaving you breathless.

“Shit, Bokuto- Ah-“ The deep moan that escaped your lips was like music to his ears, he replaced his tongue with two fingers and focused on sucking hard on the skin of your thigh.

“You like it? Does it feel good?” He asked looking at your flushed face. Your eyes were wide shut, your mouth slightly open, letting out all kind of sounds that went straight to his dick. At his question you nodded eagerly and so he returned to his previous activity, burying his head between your legs. He continued eating you out intensely while your hands found their way to his soft hair, fingers tangling in it. He wanted more, so he threw your legs over his shoulders, gaining more access into you.

Other guys and girls had eaten you out back in the past, but you were now sure that out of all of the mouths that had been down there, Bokuto’s was the best. Who would have thought he was so good with his tongue?

Him sucking down on your clit one more time was enough to send you over the edge. When you had finally stopped shaking, you opened your eyes, still panting, trying to catch your breath. He emerged from between your legs, his chin shiny, wet with your juices. You felt your face turning red now that you could think with clarity again and you were aware of all the embarrassing sounds you had been making. Bokuto was smiling, clearly pleased with himself, and leaned down to capture you lips one more, allowing you to taste yourself on him. After exchanging a few soft, lazy kisses, he pulled away.

“I should go now.”

“Why?” You didn’t want to sound needy, but right now all you wanted to do was be next to him. Maybe even cuddle?

“I’m going to Akaashi’s place tonight and I promised him I wouldn’t be late, so I have to take a shower and get dressed.” He told you, his eyes looking down at your lips again as if it was hard for him to be away from them. Sighing he forced himself to get up from the bed. Without him on top of you, you could sit up on the bed and slip on your dress again. You felt exposed being the only one naked. Bokuto caught you eyeing his obvious erection “Don’t worry about it, I interrupted your work so if you wanna go back to it now I won’t disturb you anymore.” He leaned down and gave you a quick peck on your lips. “Unless you wanna join me in the shower” He added with a smile, before turning around and leaving your room.

You stood there staring at the door that had just closed behind Bokuto’s back before standing up; your legs where wobbly. Did he really think you would be able to concentrate on your project after what just happened? You got rid of your clothes once again and wrapped yourself in a towel before starting to make your way to Bokuto’s room. He couldn’t get away with doing this to you, making a mess out of you so easily and then expecting you to stay in your room like a good girl. _“When did this become a competition on who could turn on more the other?”_ It didn’t have to be like that, but if you were similar to your cousin Atsumu in something that was definitely your ability to be competitive as fuck.

Knowing no one else was home beside both of you, you calmly climbed the stairs without fearing the possibility of one of the others seeing you going into his room only wearing a towel. At the end of his bedroom was the door that led into his bathroom, where you could hear the shower running already. When you closed the door behind you, Bokuto’s head popped out of the shower, startled by the noise, but his confused expression immediately turned into a happy one when he saw you standing there.

“I didn’t think you would actually come.” He said, his eyes full of desire on your body when you let your towel slip and went to join him in the shower. You positioned yourself right below the water stream, with your back to Bokuto, completely ignoring him. You would take care of him later, but for now you wanted to make him suffer a bit. The hot water splashing against your shoulders you let out a satisfied moan and heard the ace groan behind you. He knew you were ignoring him on purpose, but as prideful as he was, he was fighting against his inner urges to just pine you against the shower walls and fuck you senseless right there. When you turned around to face him, his eyes, which had clearly been locked on your ass, snapped up to look at your face.

“Enjoying the view?” You asked trying to sound innocent.

“Yeah, it’s great.” Bokuto answered, as if saying those words was costing him a lot of self-control. He was painfully hard. He had intended to jerk off in the shower, how could he not get an erection after seeing you unravel before him as you had? But before he even had de opportunity to relief himself, you had walked into the bathroom. And now you were standing there, naked and wet a few centimeters away from him. He was losing his mind.

“Do you want me to wash you?” You had started to rub the soap bar against your skin and couldn’t help but lick your lips at the possibility of touching his defined muscles again. You saw him swallow slowly and tentatively brought your hand to his chest, spreading some soap there. The motion continuing for a couple of minutes, you caressing his body here and there while he was breathing deeply, trying not to snap and just bend you over.

When your hand ghosted over his erection he groaned trying to grind into your hand. You stopped touching him immediately “Hm? Is there something you want me to do?”

“Babe please” His eyes were closed and he was breathing hard.

“Please what? I cannot know what it is you want if you don’t tell me.”

“Fuck, please touch me, I can’t stand this anymore.” You smiled to yourself, pleased to see him like this, and knelt before him, his dick in front of your face now. When you had given him a handjob the other day you had struggled to wrap your hand it, so you already knew he was big, but looking at it this close… Wow, it was really, _really_ big. Not only was it long, a good 18cms, but it was _thick_. You were aware that it would probably be difficult to stuff all of it in your mouth, but you still wanted to try.

You started by giving an experimental lick to the head, Bokuto groaned above you and put on of his hands on your head. You continued by licking along the shaft, following the patterns created by some prominent veins. He tugged gently your hair and you forced down a laugh. _“So needy…“_ you thought. Not wasting anymore time you went for it and wrapped your mouth around his dick. He let out a soft moan, his lips forming a perfect ‘o’. You started bobbing your head, trying to fill your mouth as much as possible and being careful not to hurt him with your teeth. Still you could only fit a bit more than half of it, so you brought your hand to the base, stroking him slowly. 

“Look at you. Fuck, you are taking me so good.” Bokuto praised you. Dirty talking now? Was he into that too? “Do you like having your mouth full with my cock?” You looked up locking eyes with him, as if trying to tell him without using words that yes, you actually did like having him filling you like this. If you hadn’t come so hard just 5 minutes ago you would probably be a mess right now. “I’m gonna fuck your mouth now okay?”

He brought his other hand to your head too, holding you in place, and started shoving his dick in and out, slowly at first, he didn’t want to hurt you. Soon his thrusts became messier, erratic, and tears came to your eyes while you choked on him. He pushed your head down again, your nose almost hitting the base of his length and you had to pull away, coughing and gasping for air. “Are you okay? Sorry, I got carried away” He apologized quickly, his eyes full of concern. But you shrugged him off and started taking him in again, ignoring the fact that your jaw was starting to ache. “Ahh- I’m close. God, I’m so close” Bokuto grunted out, giving you the opportunity to pull away, instead you swallowed him down once again, keeping him there while he came down your throat.

You swallowed his cum and stood up. He was looking at you, his pupils blown wide, as if you were the most amazing thing he had ever seen. He pulled his hands on your hips and brought you close, pulling you into a deep kiss.

\------

15 minutes later you were lying on his bed eating doritos and helping him decide his outfit for tonight. He had lent you one of his tshirts and a pair of boxers (that looked like common pijama shorts on you) so that you didn’t have to go downstairs to get your clothes after getting out of the shower.

“I like the grey one better. Grey looks good on you.”

“Yeah? And black trousers or plain jeans?”

“Hmmm I would go for the black ones.”

“Great, black ones it is then.” He started changing in front of you, after all there was no point in hiding anything anymore, both of you had seen plenty of each other. “You know, I talked with my sisters the other day and they told me they were thinking about visiting in a few weeks, we will probably go to some fancy place to have lunch or something, you could come, if you are free.”

“As a friend. Right?”

He didn’t respond immediately. “Yeah, as a friend. Of course.”

“Uh, okay. I have tons of work the next two weeks, but hopefully I’ll be free when they come.”

“Great! You will like them. And I’m sure they will like you too.” He started rambling about his family, telling you stories about his childhood and about his sisters, you found it cute. But deeper in your mind you were wondering about other things. It seemed as if you liking his siblings, and them liking you too was really important to him. It was normal wanting your family to get along with your friends, but your gut told you there was something else there. Anyways, you decided to drop the subject and ignore whatever you mind was trying to tell you, you were probably overthinking things.

\----------------

Yachi arrived next Friday in the afternoon. Hinata threw his arms around his friend, giving her a tight hug before introducing you to her (you were the only one who hadn’t met her yet). After she had left her things at Hinata’s room, you all exited the flat and went to get the underground, heading off to the part of the city that was now trending.

After a bit of sightseeing you arrived to the restaurant where Hinata had reserved a table for the six of you. It was a really fancy place, on the upper floor of one of the highest buildings of the city, offering a beautiful view while you where having dinner. The restaurant’s owner recognized the group and soon the table was filled with food that had you drooling. Later, when you were going to pay he insisted on giving you a 40% of discount with the only condition of taking a picture and letting him hang it on the restaurant wall.

Already tipsy from the wine you had all drank at the dinner, you made your way to one of the most popular clubs in the city. The place was bursting with people, and you didn’t want anyone interrupting or overhearing your conversations, so Atsumu asked the doorman to give you one of the private tables the club offered on the upper floor, away from all the crowd.

“Hurry up Atsumu, I wanna start drinking” Hinata hurried your cousin. You had decided to play a drinking game to spice up things, but you had all agreed that playing ‘Never have I ever’ was not an option this time, you always played that and it was starting to be boring and considering you were all already a bit drunk, having to think about questions to ask the others was a no-no. Instead, Atsumu had downloaded some game into his phone, apparently it had all kind of questions: never have I ever, truth or dare, competitions…

“Okay, but the first one is totally lame.” The blonde one started reading. “Drink if you’ve ever had sex. Pff, what kind of question is that?”

Everyone drank except you. You hoped the others didn’t notice, not because you were ashamed, but because you were too drunk to start answering questions. However, they all turned to you. They had noticed.

“Really?” Atsumu asked you.

“Yeah, I’ve never been really into that…” You felt everyone’s eyes on you. You felt Bokuto’s eyes on you. “Well, is not exactly like that. Is just a bit weird. I’ve done other things, you know what I mean, but most times it was out of boredom. It’s hard, it’s _unusual_ for me to feel that kind of attraction for someone.”

“And you have never felt pressured by the standards? I think is pretty stupid, but, yeah, lots of people tend to think that you have to lose you v card before you turn 20, or even 18, or you are some kind of odd ball.” Yachi asked. You liked this girl, she had seemed shy at first but she was actually really nice and interesting.

“Yes, I have. I felt more pressured when I was younger, when I was 17 I was super worried about not feeling this things the same way my friends did. But now? I’m not really bothered by it, it will happen when it has to happen. I could just rip off the band aid and hook up with anyone, I admit I thought about doing that sometimes, but what would be the point? Nah, if I find someone that actually makes me feel that kind of attraction and I feel comfortable enough to go along with it then great, I'll do it; if that doesn’t happen, that’s okay too.” You thought about your next words, unsure if you should say them, but the alcohol in your veins made you bold enough to do it. “In fact, I may have already found a person that fits the criteria, but we’ll see”

“What? Who?” Atsumu and Hinata started asking all kind of questions but you laughed them off and refused to answer any of them. When they had calmed down, Atsumu resumed the game.

“Okay, now question for Omi-Omi, from all of the people out of this table, who would you choose to play ‘7 minutes in heaven’?

“You.” Answered Sakusa without missing a beat. Atsumu fell silent, glaring at the black-haired man, before smirking and going back to not shutting up.

“Me? Really?”

“Maybe he would like to be locked with you 7 minutes so he can beat the shit out of you for not cleaning.” Said Hinata, taking a sip from his drink.

“Is that it Omi-Omi? Or are you actually dying to kiss me?” Teased Atsumu, the other man blinking slowly, taking his time to answer. He was definitely drunk.

“You’ll have to find out yourself.” They kept their eyes locked as if at any given moment they were going to jump on top of each other. To rip off their clothes or to kick the other one’s ass? You didn’t know.

The game went on with stupid questions and dares, and when you were all drunk enough to bear the suffocating crowd that was down on the dancefloor, you started making your way there; Kiyoomi and Atsumu first, arguing about some stupid thing and disappearing soon (they wouldn’t be seen until a couple of hours later, while heading back home), Hinata and Yachi following behind talking about old memories they held from highschool.

“Hey.” Bokuto caught you by the wrist. “Can we talk for a sec?”

“Sure, what’s up.”

“About what you said earlier…” He seemed shy, uncapable of wording it. Weird.

“About being a virgin? What about it?”

“I didn’t know. (Y/N) if I forced you into anything…”

“What? No, no, no. All of what we did, I did it because _I_ wanted to. Because I feel comfortable with you.” You looked behind your shoulder to make sure the others had left already and you cupped his face in your hands. “You didn’t force me into anything, really. Don’t worry about that.”

“Okay.” He breathed out in relief. He had been awfully quiet during the game, after you had spoken. This must had been the reason. “But seriously, if some time I do something you don’t like. If I step over the limits and I don’t realize, please tell me.”

“I will, don’t worry.” You gave him a quick kiss. “Come on, let’s go join the others.”

“There’s one last thing I want to ask. About that person that fits into the criteria and all of that. Who is it?” He sounded worried and took your hand in his.

“Are you stupid?” Yes. That was the first thing that came to your mouth. “Bokuto, it’s you, who would it be?”

“Oh really?” His expression quickly changed and now he wore the biggest smile. He really was like a child sometimes, his emotions changing so quickly. “Cool.”

“Yes very cool, can we go to the dancefloor now? I love this song and I know Atsumu knows the choreography so I need to go bully him into dancing it.”


	3. 3. Breakdown

**Bokuto (21:38):** _What r u doing_

**You (21:38):** _Nothing_

**You (21:38):** _Why_

**Bokuto (21:39):** _Wanna watch a movie?_

**You (21:39):** _ok cool_

**Bokuto (21:39):** _my room?_

**You (21:42):** _Okay, I’ll make popcorn and go upstairs give me 5 minutes_

**Bokuto (21:42):** _great_ _😊_

You tiptoed through the house making your way to the kitchen. It wasn’t actually necessary to be this cautious right now, you could have watched a movie alone with Hinata or Sakusa and that would have been perfectly okay. Watching one with Bokuto wasn’t any different, it didn’t have to look suspicious in the eyes of the others. But part of you had gotten accustomed to sneaking into Bokuto’s room a few nights a week and now every time you went up there you had the necessity of acting like James Bond or something like that, it was stupid but you couldn’t help it.

The whole “sneaking into the other’s room until dawn” had been happening regularly since that night at the club two weeks ago. On that night, after going to the dancefloor you had kept drinking, having fun and dancing with your friends. Alcohol made you more easygoing and sociable, so you had started talking with lots of people, making friends whose names you wouldn’t remember in the morning. One guy had invited you to a drink, he was funny and actually pretty nice, so you had accepted it and sat down to talk with him for a while, but later, when he had tried to take things other way you had politely turned him down. On your way home you had noticed Bokuto was acting weird, not talking to you as he would normally do. Maybe he was feeling sick because of the alcohol?

After returning to the flat and sobering up a bit, you had realized you were starving, and so you had started making pizza, but that activity had been quickly abandoned, because as soon as the others had returned to their rooms, Bokuto was all over you. You didn’t know if it was the alcohol, or if maybe there was another thing your drunk thinking couldn’t grasp, but he looked more serious and he acted more… aggressive? than other times you had made out. It had been hard for you to convince him to separate his lips from your skin and go upstairs to his room before he just started ripping your clothes off in the middle of the kitchen. But the hardest part of the night had been keeping your volume down while Bokuto pleasured you past the point of being oversensitive. When he was finished with you, you had tears in your eyes and your body was covered in hickeys that would be difficult to hide the next day, but at the time you didn’t care.

Despite the conversation you had had earlier at the club, he didn’t ask you to take things further than what you had been doing until that moment; you guessed he was letting you take your time and decide when was the right moment to take the next step. You were grateful for that.

Back to the present, you had just put the popcorn bag in the microwave when you heard a voice behind you, making you jump. “Popcorn? Are you going to watch a movie?” Hinata asked you, smiling innocently.

“Uh, yes. I was going to watch a movie with Bokuto.” There was no point in lying, after all Hinata was going to see you go into his room, things would be more suspicious if after saying you were going to watch something alone he saw you going there.

“Oh cool! Which one?”

“I don’t know, we will pick something now I guess.”

“We could watch a scary one, I like them but I don’t like watching them alone. And you like scary movies too right? Have you watched The Grudge?” _We._ He had said “ _We_ could watch”. You searched in your head for a good excuse that allowed you to go alone into Bokuto’s room but all of them made it sound as if you were saying _‘Sorry Hinata, you can’t join the movie session because Bokuto and I want to be alone so we can rip each other’s clothes off! Thanks for the interest though!’,_ so in the end you gave up, told him you were okay with the idea of watching a scary movie and then proceeded to text Bokuto to update him on the situation while Hinata run to Atsumu’s and Sakusa’s bedrooms to try convince them to join too.

So, yeah, that was the reason why you had ended curled up on the sofa next to Atsumu, Kiyoomi at his other side, while Bokuto and Hinata sat on the other couch. The lights had been turned off to match the movie’s vibes. At first, Bokuto had been throwing you side glances, trying not to laugh because of how the night had turned out; but now he was covering his eyes, watching the movie from behind his fingers and screaming every time there was a scare jump. He didn’t really like scary movies but he also couldn’t say no to Hinata when he looked so excited to see one.

Much to your surprise, Kiyoomi seemed to be scared easily too, cursing everytime there was a scare jump, this time he hadn’t even argued with Atsumu for not shutting up during the movie like they always did when you watched something together. You had also noticed your cousin’s hand distractedly drawing patterns with his fingers on the Black-haired one’s legs, as if trying to calm him down, although he had stopped when both of them suddenly became aware of what was happening and threw each other a silent glare, thinking no one was seeing them in the dark.

When the movie ended and the lights were turned on again all of you started saying goodnight to the others, it was late and tomorrow everyone had to wake up early. You caught Kiyoomi eyeing your tshirt silently, a questioning look on his face. At first you didn’t understand why until you looked down and remembered you were wearing the tshirt Bokuto had lend you the other day. You hadn’t put it on today on purpose, you had just thrown on the first thing you had seen after getting out of the shower, right? Or had you put on that subconsciously because before Bokuto had texted you, you had already thought about going to his room and you knew he liked the way his tshirt looked on you? _"Whatever, just return it to him tomorrow. We can't risk the others thinking something is going on"_ With that in mind you went back to your room and got into bed, missing having Bokuto sleeping next to you like the past days.

\---------------------------

It was Friday evening, and you were in the kitchen pouring an energy drink into the mug of coffee you had just prepared. The nightmares had been getting worse lately, and you were exhausted about the lack of sleep, on top of that you had so many things to study anxiety was all you could feel lately.

A pair of strong arms wrapped around your waist from behind, and you felt lips pressed against the base of your neck. Normally that would have made you shudder, but now you were just feeling numb.

“Wanna go to my room? No one’s home beside us.” Bokuto’s voice asked in a low voice.

“Sorry, I’m not in the mood.”

“Oh okay.” And just like that he unwrapped his arms from around you. He shot a glance at your cup. “Are you mixing monster and coffee?” You nodded and he looked at you clearly concerned. “I don’t think that’s safe. I know you are probably stressed about exams and all those things, but you actually need sleep to survive you know.”

“I don’t need sleep. I can function perfectly fine this way.” You snapped. He hadn’t meant that in a bad way, but you weren’t in the mood to be lectured.

“No you can’t.”

“What? Now you are going to tell me what to do?” _Shut up, you are not yourself today._

“I’m not trying to tell you what to do, I’m trying to help you because I’m worried about you.”

“Well, you don’t need to worry about me, I don’t need a babysitter.” _Shut up before you push him away._

“What are you talking about? I’m worried about you because I care about you. Because I’m your friend.”

 _Friend_. That was exactly the last word you wanted to hear today. You felt the tears coming to your eyes and tried to turn away from Bokuto, hoping he wouldn’t notice. But he did. Of course he did.

“What’s wrong?” He asked, his face full of concern. You just shook your head, not capable of forming words. The moment you opened your mouths your tears would start to roll down your face. Not knowing what to do, Bokuto pulled you into a tight hug. That was it. You buried your face in his chest and started weeping silently, while he stroked your hair, trying to help you to calm down. “Is… is this about the exams?”

“No.” You managed to say between sobs.

“Okay. Do you want to talk about it?”

“No.”

“Okay.”

You didn’t know how long you stood there in silence, wrapped in his arms, but eventually he took you to your room. You curled up in your bed, hiding beneath the sheets, and kept crying in silence. Bokuto sat down at the edge of the bed. He wanted to help you, but he didn’t know how. He knew you well enough to be aware that if he tried to pressure you into telling him what was happening, you would just retreat to your comfort zone, pushing him out of everything. And that was the last thing he wanted. So he just stayed there, feeling miserable, stroking your hair in silence until he realized you had fallen asleep, exhaustion finally taking you out.

He exited your bedroom and went to the living room, his mind thinking about ways in which he could help you. Soon, the front door opened. Hinata, Kiyoomi and Atsumu made their way into the apartment talking casually and laughing at something the first one had said.

“What’s wrong?” Atsumu asked when he saw Bokuto sitting on the couch, distractedly staring at the ceiling, a worrisome look on his face. Something weird on in. “Where’s (Y/N)?”

“She’s sleeping in her room. She…” He tried to look for the right words. “She had a breakdown. I don’t know why, she didn’t want to tell me. I asked her if it was about college and the exams but apparently there’s something else. I… I don’t know how I can help her.”

“Shit. What day is it today?” Atsumu asked.

“April 15. Why?” Kiyoomi answered.

“Oh fuck, I totally forgot…” Atsumu started walking nervously through the living room before excusing himself, saying he had to make a phone call and disappearing behind his bedroom’s door.

The other three boys stayed in the living room, feeling confused about the situation, until Atsumu came back to the room and sat down on the sofa, facing the others.

“Sorry about that, I had to call my uncle, (Y/N)’s father.” He started “I… There is a reason why she’s acting like this. I don’t know if you’ve noticed but she has been more reclusive lately. I think she would like you to know about this, she trusts all of you, but she can’t bring herself to tell you about it, it probably hurts too much. The thing is, you remember we told you she didn’t go to Inarizaki with Osamu and I, right?” The other three nodded, listening in silence. “Yes, she went to a private academy just for girls. My uncle is a bit stuck up and wanted her to become a proper lady or whatever. The thing is, she met this girl there, they became best friends, they were always together, even when she hung out with me, Osamu and our friends, sometimes she would bring that girl too. She was really nice, we all liked her.”

“…And, something bad happened to that girl?” Hinata asked wearily.

Atsumu nodded. “She killed herself, on a day like this, when we were 17. One day she was there, smiling and hanging out with my cousin, and the next day… Just like that. I never knew what happened exactly, I know she left a note for (Y/N) but I’ve never asked her about it. The day she lost her bestfriend… something broke inside of her. Months went by and she wasn’t getting better, so my uncle decided to send her away, away from here, and away from all the memories. She got better as time went by, but I don’t think you can ever recover completely from something like that. And this is the first year she’s back here in Japan on this day, she must be heartbroken.” He let out a long sigh, clearly worried. “This is also the reason why I’m so protective of her. She’s like a little sister to me and I think it’s really unfair how much she has already suffered being this young. I don’t want anyone to hurt her again.”

Bokuto understood so many things now. He hadn’t told you, but on these past nights, while sleeping next to him, you had been repeating a name, talking in your sleep. He hadn’t known who that person was, but hearing how broken you sounded every time you said that name, he had decided not to ask. Another thing he hadn’t told you was that half of the times you had woken up in cold sweat after a nightmare and snuggled up against him, crying silently, he had been awake. He had wrapped his arms around you and pulled you closer all those times, pretending to do it while being asleep.

\---------------

When you woke up you were alone in your room. Your head hurt from crying and you felt exhausted. Looking at yourself in the mirror you noticed your eyes were red and swollen. Fuck, you had completely broken down. What time was it? Where was Bokuto? You felt terrible from lashing out on him like that. And then he had had to comfort you while you cried in his arms. You hated crying in front of others. This was so embarrassing.

In silence, you made your way to the living room. It was dark outside already and the lights in the house were dim. Bokuto was sitting on the sofa, a blanket thrown on him, silently watching something on tv.

“Hey.” He perked up and smiled softly when he saw you standing there. “Where are the others?”

“They left an hour ago, they were going to that club with the green lights. The one we went to on Atsumu’s birthday you know?” You nodded and sat down next to him, hugging your knees and resting your head there, eyes fixed on the tv.

“Why didn’t you go?”

He seemed to consider his answer, before opening his mouth. “I didn’t want to leave you alone.”

“Thanks, but I’m okay now, really. It’s not too late, you can still get changed and go out with them!” You smiled, trying to hide how exhausted you felt on the inside.

“Stop doing that.” Bokuto looked tired and…angry? “You always bottle up your feelings and act like everything is fine when is clearly not. About today. Having feelings is not something you should be ashamed of, and when you are not doing well you should rely on your friends. We are here for you. Don’t build up walls. Please”

You didn’t say anything and kept your eyes locked on the tv screen. You knew he was right, but you didn’t like bothering others with your problems. You would solve everything eventually without needing anyone else. Things had always worked like that for you and you were fine like this. It had been 6 years already since you had lost her, someday the pain would go away. When you didn’t answer, Bokuto kept talking.

“Atsumu told us the whole story. I’m really sorry.” You just nodded; if you looked at him you would start to cry again. “He was really worried about you. He wanted to stay but I convinced him to leave promising him I would look after you and text him in case anything happened.”

“I just had a little breakdown, is not like I’m dying.”

“I’m not going to insist on the whole _‘Please rely on your friends, we love you and care about you’_ thing because I know you are going to ignore me as you always do. So I’ll just be extra annoying from now on, making sure you are okay and, you know, just being a good friend.” He smiled at you and went back to watching tv in silence. He was clearly upset with how you were handling things but trying not to show it and failing. He always had his feelings written on his face, the opposite of you. You liked that about him.

You snuggled up against him, covering yourself with the blanket he had on. “Thank you. I know I suck at this things and I’m super ungrateful sometimes. But seriously, thank you. I don’t deserve any of you.”

He smiled softly and wrapped an arm around you, bringing you closer. “It’s okay. What are friends for?”

\----------------------

You jumped out of bed as soon as you heard your alarm going off. You had set a song you absolutely _hated_ as your morning alarm and you had set the loudest volume possible for it before going to bed last night. You had also put your phone on the highest shelf of your bedroom. Doing things like this were the only way of getting you out of bed in time, without risking turning off your alarm and going back to sleep.

Last night you had gone early to bed after Bokuto had made you some calming tea. You still felt that stab of sadness in your heart. You had felt it every day since she had left. But there was no point in sulking, so you ignored the feeling, as you always did. It was 7:30 am and you were determined to make the most of your day and stop procrastinating. You threw on a big sweater and after washing your face in the bathroom sink you made your way to kitchen and started preparing some coffee. Once you had a big mug full of coffee in your hands you sat down at the dining table, enjoying the silence that spread throughout the house so early in the morning, when it usually was full of laughter and loud conversations.

A door opened down the corridor at your right. Only your room and Atsumu’s were that way. Why was he waking up so early? Maybe he was hangover and he needed to throw up or something? You hadn’t heard them coming back from the club last night, so you assumed they must have returned home pretty late.

Suddenly someone walked into the room. Kiyoomi. Coming from the corridor. No. Coming from Atsumu’s room.

He had been walking silently. Well, walking was a good way of putting it. He had been sneaking, tiptoeing, trying not to make a single sound. He stopped on his tracks when he saw you sitting there looking at him, a horrified expression on his face. Busted. He tried to appear as calm as possible.

“Good morning (Y/N), are you feeling well?” He asked you nonchalantly, as if everything was perfectly all right. As if he hadn’t just walked into the room, in his underwear, pants on his hands, after sneaking out of Atsumu’s room at 7:30am.

“Yes, I’m okay. Thanks for asking.” You answered wearily. “How was last night? “

“Uh- good.”

“Nice.”

“Yeah, uh- I’m going to sleep a bit more. See you later.” He kept walking to his room, on the other side of the house. It was hard for you to not say anything else and tease him about the whole situation, but the guy looked so embarrassed you decided to take pity on him. Part of you wanted to run to you cousin’s room to ask him all the questions you had, but a little voice in your head told you that considering your situation with Bokuto, sneaking into his room almost every night and in the end doing exactly what Sakusa had probably been doing right now, it wouldn’t be right for you to ask them about their secret before you were ready to tell them yours.

You decided to drop the issue. For now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things getting steamy in the next chapter again.  
> I'll try to update soon but finals are killing me so sorry if it gets a bit delayed (probably not because I love to procrastinate studying) :)
> 
> \----------
> 
> This was a bit hard to write because last year I lost one of my best friends (self projecting queen lol) and eventhough months have passed it still hurts a lot; in case anyone's in the same situation, I just want to tell you to be strong, it takes time but the pain will go away. The good memories will stay forever.


	4. 4. Smudged eyeliner

“I JUST HANDED IN MY FINAL PROJECT, I’M FUCKING FREE!” You shouted at the top of your lungs stumbling into the apartment. After some very very stressful weeks (during which Bokuto had helped you relieve some stress almost every night) you had finally finished the last project you needed to turn in this semester. You had pulled an all nighter and went directly to university at 8 AM to give a presentation about your work to your professors. You were exhausted but the hard work had paid off and you had gotten an A.

Your four flatmates got up from the couch and approached you to congratulate you on your work, giving you bear hugs and sweet words, all of them proud of you. It was 6pm so they probably had just gotten home after their daily training with the team; they all still had wet hair from the shower.

“I feel like I’m going to pass out at any moment, so I’m going to take a nap, but when I wake up I want you all to be ready to go out tonight. I don’t care if I end up throwing up from the taxi’s window like last time, I want to get _completely_ wasted today. I deserve it.”

The other four would never say no to a party (Well, maybe Sakusa sometimes, but he wasn’t going to tell you no this time) so after getting the confirmation that everyone would be ready to leave at 9 30 pm, you went to your room and passed out as soon as your head hit the pillow.

You woke up a couple of hours later. You weren’t actually well rested, but you had the enough energy to go out and drink liters of alcohol, so for now it was okay. You took a cold shower to get yourself a bit more activated and proceeded to get dressed: Long skirt open at the sides and a tight crop top. It was May now, so the nights were starting to get warmer and bringing a thin sweater in case you got cold would be enough.

At the stablished hour everyone was ready to exit the apartment. Atsumu informed you that a couple of their MSBY teammates, Shion Inunaki and Adriah Thomas, were going to tag along tonight. You had sweet talked one of your friends from class to come along too so everything was looking great.

After you all had dinner in a new pizza restaurant in the centre of the city, the group made its way into the nearest nightclub and proceeded to get drunk as you had suggested during dinner.

With alcohol worth 3 glasses of rum with cola and 4 jägermeister shots, your vision was blurry and you weren’t walking exactly straight, but you had a high tolerance for alcohol so it was too soon to have reached the throwing up point. In the waiting line to the toilets, you met two wonderful girls and five minutes later you were taking selfies while telling each other you were now best friends. One of the girls told you she had seen you surrounded by “that group of super tall and attractive guys” and when you confirmed that you had actually came with them, she proceeded to ask you if they were single.

“Hmmm, as far as I know they are all single, yes.” You told her. The words stumbling on your drunken tongue.

“The guy with the frosted tips too? You think I’m his type?”

“Bokuto?” A funny feeling twisted your heart and for a moment you considered telling her _“sorry that one’s taken choose another one :)”_ but you pushed that thought aside. What was going on between you was exclusively friendship and whatever you would call sneaking into each other’s room at night to help each other get off, maybe cuddle for a bit after that? But none of that was relationship. Bokuto was single. End of it. “Uh, I can go and talk to him if you want. You know, to test the waters.” You offered with a smile on your face.

When you went back with the group, they were are in a circle cheering for whoever was in the middle. When you were closer you saw that in the middle of the circle were Hinata and the friend you had brought along tonight, currently competing see who could drink beer faster. You approached Bokuto and put a hand on his shoulder.

“Hey”

“Hey” He looked at you, wearing a drunken smile on his face. ‘ _Cute_ ’ You thought.

“So, there’s this girl I just met back there, she is super pretty and hot. Apparently, you caught her eye and she asked me to come and test the waters. You want me to take you where she is so you can meet her?”

He remained silent for some time, his brain wrapping around what you had said. “It’s tempting. But I already know who I am taking home tonight.” He wrapped an arm around your waist. His drunken mind completely ignoring the fact that the others were right behind you two.

“We live together. Of course you are bringing me home, I don’t plan on sleeping under a bridge.”

“I meant who I am taking home tonight specifically to my bed.” He said, lips to your ear. You shuddered, glad that the music was muffling your conversation, making the others unable to hear any of it.

“Oh? Feeling confident? What if decide to bring somebody else home tonight?”

“That would be perfectly okay. But would you really do that when you have all of this right in front of you.” He gestured to himself, wearing a confident smile.

You just laughed. “I don’t even know how it is possible for me to find you attractive after seeing you snorting a line of chilli powder earlier and crying about it”

“But you do.”

“But I do. Well, we’ll talk about our bedroom activities later. I’m gonna get more alcohol for now.” You winked at him and left, still feeling his eyes on your back.

After ordering another round of shots for everyone things got crazier. Hinata and your friend kissing. Atsumu sitting on Bokuto’s shoulders, a bottle of vodka in his hand, distributing shots into the mouths of whoever was passing by. Sakusa randomly pulling out a 2L bottle of sanitizer out of nowhere.

When Atsumu and Hinata started throwing up you decided it was time to go home and after saying goodbye to the others you took a cab home. There, you helped Hinata and Atsumu to their respective beds, the latter insisting that Kiyoomi had to stay with him. Sakusa’s face turned red at that and told Bokuto and you that he would “stay here just so that Miya shuts up, then I’ll go back to my room”. He tried to sound annoyed, but you could see his eyes softening when he looked down at your cousin curled up in bed.

Leaving those two in Atsumu’s room, Bokuto and you made your way to the kitchen to eat something. Or that was the plan.

“Have I told you how hot you look tonight?”

“The smudged eyeliner adds to the look.”

He laughed and approached you, cupping your face in his hands before leaning down and capturing you lips in his. Needy, you quickly slipped your tongue in his mouth. Deepening the kiss. He let his hands roam down your body until they reached the back of your thighs and he was lifting you up, sitting you on the kitchen counter. He positioned himself between your legs and when you started leaving a trail of kisses down his neck, he spoke again with a hoarse voice.

“We should go to my room before Kiyoomi comes out of Atsumu’s room as catches us like this.”

 _‘Like he is going to get out of there until tomorrow’_ You thought. No time to get into that subject now. You just nodded and Bokuto picked you up and started climbing up the stairs that led to his room, your legs wrapped around his waist.

When the door closed behind you, he pinned you against it and went back to kissing you hungrily. Quickly clothes were on the floor and both of you were under the sheets of his bed, his fingers touching you.

“Bokuto.” You said, pulling away from him and looking up into his eyes.

“Yes?”

“Do you wanna have sex?” It had been roaming your head for some time. You trusted him. You felt good with him. You wanted to. Why not?

“I… what? You want to?” He said, both hands on the mattress at each side of your head.

“Yeah. I mean, if you want to. No pressure”

“Yes, yes I want to!” A smile crept to his recently dumbfounded face.

“Okay.”

“Okay.” He repeated, looking down at you with absolute adoration.

“Just, I don’t know, be gentle or whatever I’m supposed to say.” You laughed awkwardly.

“Don’t worry. I’ll take care. If you want to stop at any moment just tell me.”

You nodded and pulled him down, bringing his mouth back to yours, breath hitching when he pushed another finger into you. When he had four fingers inside of you and you were a moaning mess beneath him, he pulled them out. After putting on a condom he took from his bedside table, he positioned himself.

“I’m going in now, okay?” You nodded, feeling the tip at your entrance. He started pushing in slowly, stopping every now and then, letting you adjust to it. He was big. Really big. And you were feeling all of it now. When you closed your eyes in pleasure and pain, he started rubbing circles at you hip bones. “You are doing so good baby.” He praised you.

When your breath had steadied again, he continued pushing in. Seeing you were struggling a bit he decided that this was more than enough, you had taken more than half of his length in. There would be time later to help you take him full, for now the important thing was to make you feel good.

“You want me to move?” He asked when you relaxed a bit more.

“Yes, I’m fine now.”

He started moving, painfully slowly, and when you started feeling good, letting him know by wrapping your legs around him and pushing him deeper into you, he increased the speed, still careful not to hurt you.

Reaching a steady rhythm, you started moaning a bit too loud and he brought a hand to your mouth, to muffle the sounds, intense golden eyes on you. Slowly he withdrew his hand and instead positioned two of his fingers in front of your mouth.

“Suck on them.” He commanded you. His eyes dark, full of desire. When you did he smirked, still watching you. “Good. Like that. We don’t want the others hearing us, do we?”

He moved his other arm, that had been resting at your hip, and grabbed the headboard of the bed, lifting himself up a little bit to take the full image of you squirming under him into his memory. You saw the muscles of his back flexing and instantly brought your hands up to them, remembering he liked you touching his back. He let his head drop to your shoulder, his lips next to your ear, letting you hear all the pleasured sounds he was letting out.

“God I’m so close.” You whispered, letting his fingers drop out of your mouth.

“Ah- me too.” His thrust became more erratic and you clawed at his back.

“Koutarou…”

You moaning his name was enough to send him over the edge. And when he buried himself into you, letting out a shaky breath in your ear, you were gone too.

\------------------

You opened your eyes slowly, blinking and trying to adjust to the light that was coming into the room through the windows. _“This is not my room”_ you thought. Volleyball posters and photos of people wearing grey and white uniforms hang on the blue-painted walls. Men’s clothes were on the floor here and there, and in the middle of them you managed to distinguish your own clothes; well, the ones you were wearing yesterday. Right now you were only wearing a big black tshirt and… yeah, you were at least wearing your panties. Groaning and trying to ignore your headache you rolled on the bed.

As you had expected, sleeping silently by your side was Bokuto. Flashes from last night’s events appeared in your head and you felt yourself turning red. Ignoring the embarrassment you snuggled up against Bokuto trying to catch some of the warmth he always radiated.

“Hmmmm?” He blinked, suddenly awake. “Oh, good morning.” He greeted you wearing a sleepy smile.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you up.”

“S’okay” He threw his arm over you, pulling you closer. He was wearing his hair down right now (you both had taken a shower last night after finishing last night and of course he wasn’t going to style it before going to bed). You had always thought he looked soft like that.

After staying wrapped in his arms for a couple of minutes, a comfortable silence around you two, he opened his mouth again. “Was last night okay?”

“Yeah, it was more than okay.”

He smiled softly. “I enjoyed it too. A lot. And I’m glad you were comfortable enough to do that with me.”

“I still have to learn a lot though. I was thinking maybe you could teach me. We could even start now. Morning lessons.” You said slipping one of your legs between his, your thigh rubbing at his crotch. You could feel him getting hard quickly.

“Well, if you are that thirsty for knowledge, I can’t tell you no, can I?” One of his hands went down from your lower back to your ass, grabbing a handful of it. He then pulled you to his lap, admiring how good you looked on top of him. You leaned down and captured his lips, slipping your tongue into his mouth and sucking a moan out of him when you bit softly at his lower lip. He started rocking his hips up, his erection moving against your panties, which were starting to get wet. Fingers tugging at the end of your shirt, _his shirt_ , he helped you out of it. He left a trail of kisses down your neck, where he had left some hickeys last night, hickeys that were pretty visible now and would be a pain to cover. Just as you were slipping your hand into his underwear, both of you heard someone climbing up the stairs which led to Bokuto’s room.

As horny as you were, you had forgotten some important details regarding the situation: It was Saturday, 11:00am and EVERYONE was at home.

Bokuto looked at you with panicked eyes. You jumped out of bed and tried slipping on your shirt as quickly as you could. “What do I do???” You whispered, panicking.

“I don’t know!!! Go into the bathroom and hide there?”

“What if they try to go in there?”

“Why would they go to my bathroom?!”

You didn’t think it was the best idea, but you were out of time, so Bokuto pushed you into the bathroom and closed the door. Before jumping back to bed, pretending to be asleep.

Hinata knocked on the door twice before stumbling into the room. These two were always waking up each other when one was up earlier and got bored. They started talking about last night, Hinata complaining about the hangover. You had your ear stuck to the door; in case you heard the ginger coming closer to the bathroom.

“Dude, why do you have scratches all over your back?” You heard Hinata asking.

“I fought a raccoon the other day.” _Seriously? What kind of lie was that?_

“What? For real? You didn’t tell me about it!”

“Yeah, he stole my lunch. I got it back but then it looked at me with those eyes, you should have seen them, so I gave it half of it.”

Hinata kept making questions about the story, and after 15 minutes talking about random things, Bokuto promised his friend they would have lunch at their favourite ramen place if he let him sleep a little longer. Hinata agreed cheerfully and soon he was out of the room. You sighed relieved before the bathroom’s door opened and Bokuto stepped in.

“I thought I was going to have a heart attack. I suck at lying.”

“Did you just come up with the raccoon story or was that something you had planned or…?”

“Nah it happened to me last year.”

“You fought a raccoon?”

“Yeah, he was being an asshole. But we became friends in the end.”

“Sure”

“Hm, well, seems like I don’t need to get into raccoon fight’s anymore to get scratches on my back, huh?” He asked smugly.

“Sorry” You felt your face turn red.

“Don’t be. It’s hot, honestly.”

“I should go back to my room then, before any other accident happens.”

“I don’t think anyone is going to come into my bathroom…” He closed the distance between you, putting his hands on your hips. “And I think you were saying something about morning lessons?” He looked at you with puppy eyes, knowing you wouldn’t be able to resist them.

“Just lock the door this time.” You said before throwing your clothes to the floor in the blink of an eye.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Insert that "Congrats on the sex" cake picture*


	5. 5. Out of this world

Bokuto was drooling all over your tshirt. An arm thrown over your body, legs entangled with yours, he slept silently by your side while you were watching a new anime you had just discovered, earphones connected to your laptop in order not to wake him up.

Earlier that day, when your four roommates had come home from their daily training, something about Bokuto seemed off. He was quiet and had gone directly to his room without talking to any of you. Apparently, he had not been at his 100% today, and after missing some spikes he had gone into full emo-mode. You knew he would get over that in a few hours, he would probably text his best friend Akaashi, who always knew exactly what to say to make him go back to his usually cheerful mode, but still you felt something squeezing your heart in a way you weren’t used to. You didn’t like seeing him like that.

After having dinner all together and spending some time in the living room, everyone went to their bedrooms to sleep, and, as you had expected, eventually Bokuto made his way into your room. Closing the door behind him he flopped down onto your bed, positioning himself between your legs and letting his head rest in the crook of your neck.

Your hands started stroking his hair softly. “You okay?” He just nodded and remained latched to you; eyes closed. He was not okay, but you weren’t exactly the best at managing other people’s emotions. Still, you needed to do something. “Come on, don’t be a baby and tell me. What’s wrong?”

“I’m useless.”

“What stupid thing happened that made you think that?”

“I couldn’t even hit the ball properly today at practice. In the end all my spikes went straight to the net. I should just quit and go live under a bridge.”

“You do realize you are literally one of the best players in the country?”

“Whatever.”

“Well, there’s nothing you can do right now about it. We all have bad days. I’m sure a good night of sleep will make everything better and tomorrow you’ll ace every single spike. But sulking won’t change anything and it’s not like you can go practice right now.”

He snapped his head up, looking down at you with big eyes. “That’s it. I should go spike right now. Then I’ll see if I’m actually good or if I’m useless.”

“What? No. It’s midnight.”

“Yeah but there’s a park with a net down th- “

You pushed his head down so that it was resting at your neck again. “No, you need to rest. You can push yourself as hard as you want tomorrow but for now stay here with me and relax a bit.”

“You want me to stay with you? How cute.”

“Shut up before I kick you out, I’m just trying to be a good friend.”

After some time in silence, he spoke again, his voice muffled against your neck “You really think I’m not useless?”

“Of course not. And you know how honest I am with others. If I didn’t actually think you are great, I wouldn’t tell you.” He hugged you tightly and you tensed up a bit. After spending so much time with him, you had learned to accept how cuddly he was, but still sometimes it was too much for your ‘ _I hate people touching me’_ self. “Uh, do you wanna watch a movie or something?”

He agreed and you were grateful to have something to distract you. Soon you had another thing to distract you when Bokuto’s lips started ghosting your cheek, making their way to your mouth. Quickly your laptop was safely on the floor, next to your clothes.

In the last few weeks, you had gotten accustomed to sex with Bokuto. And god, did it feel good. You just felt so comfortable with him, both of you always competitive to see who could pleasure the other more. It was amazing, intoxicating sometimes, and somedays you felt that no matter how many hours you spent tangled with him in bed, it still wasn’t enough.

You rocked your hips in time with his thrusts, kissing intensely trying to muffle the sounds both of you were making, after all, this was still a secret to the others, and you wanted to keep it this way.

After finishing, Bokuto fell asleep with his arms around you, completely worn out. You were tempted to wake him up and tell him to go upstairs to his room (he usually slept through his morning alarm, staying in your room even after the others had woken up, risking getting caught by them). But after looking down at him and seeing his relaxed face, you decided to just let him sleep, a soft feeling clenching your heart. You could just make sure he woke up in time to go back to his room, for now you would let him sleep like this.

* * *

This was the third time you had caught either Atsumu or Kiyoomi coming out from each other’s room in suspicious circumstances.

This time, you had just come home after a night out with a couple of friends. It was June, you didn’t have exams or responsibilities, and the nights were starting to be warm enough to go out without bringing a jacket with you. With that combination of factors, it was normal that you hadn’t come home before 3am. After making your way into the apartment silently, you were in the kitchen drinking water before going to bed, when you heard a door opening at your left. Your cousin slipped out of Kiyoomi’s room, wearing a satisfied grin on his face, though it quickly disappeared, and he looked mortified to see you there.

“Hey.” You greeted him.

“Hey.”

“Had fun in there?” You asked smugly.

“We were watching some of our old matches, you know, to prepare for the upcoming summer league.” He replied talking really fast. He always talked fast when he was nervous, and usually when he was lying. You knew him too well.

“Sure.”

“Yeah, really. We watched two of them, that’s why uh… its so late. I should go to bed.”

“Okay, see you tomorrow then. Good night.”

Days went on, and you were going crazy, trying to keep yourself from asking either Atsumu or Kiyoomi what was going on between them. It wasn’t just the spending nights in each other’s room, it was also the way they looked at each other when they thought no one was paying attention, how they argued about the most stupid things but were also up to help the other with pretty much anything. There was something going on, you weren’t imagining it, right?

Finally, your naturally curious self couldn’t take it anymore and decided to dig into it. So, when you found yourself alone with Kiyoomi, cooking dinner while the other three boys were out buying drinks to make the Friday night a bit more special even if all of you were staying home (The Summer league was close, and the team was now practicing on Saturday morning’s too), you opened your mouth to ask him about the subject:

“Sakusa, can I ask you something?”

He frowned a bit, trying to think about what could you possibly want to know. “…Sure. What is it?”

“Are you sleeping with Atsumu?”

He just looked at you in silence, as if considering his answer, his mouth pursed into a thin line. “Before you continue asking me questions, maybe you should take into account that I also have a couple of questions for you, regarding a certain cheerful ace who lives in this house as well. I hadn’t asked you about it because I didn’t want to intrude, but if we are going to be sincere, both of us should be.” He said dryly.

You glared at him taken aback by his answer. What did he know? And how did he know?. Maybe he didn’t really know anything, and he was just testing waters, seeing if you would fall into the trap. You decided to play safe. “I don’t know what you are talking about.”

He raised his brows looking at you closely. “Really? Oh, so I guess coming out of your “definitely nothing more than a friend’s” room at uncanny hours of the night, multiple times a week, is now a perfectly normal behaviour?”

“What- How did you-“ You were sure Sakusa had never caught you slipping out of Bokuto’s room. The latter hadn’t told you he had been caught either.

“I’m a light sleeper and I wake up very, very easily. I can also identify which one of you is walking through the house at 4 am just based on the way each of you walk and the sounds you make. So don’t try to play the fool here because I know what’s up.”

“Oh my god.” You felt yourself blushing. How long had he known about Bokuto and you? This was so embarrassing… “Sakusa, please, don’t tell anyone. We aren’t together or anything, is just… Well I don’t know how to describe it, but it works for us, I guess.”

“Of course I won’t tell anyone, that’s your business, not mine. I don’t care if you both can’t keep away from each other’s pants. Actually, I’m not even surprised about it, I supposed it was bound to happen eventually.” He said sincerely. “But please, don’t ask me about Atsumu, that’s a… complicated issue. I will tell you about it when we figure things out, but for now I would like to keep that to myself”

You kinda felt bad about asking him, but you hadn’t thought it was that serious. “Sure, good luck with that. He can be an asshole sometimes, but deep down he is as soft as a teddy bear. He is a good person.”

“I know.”

* * *

It was a sunny Saturday afternoon, and you were getting ready to go out grocery shopping with Bokuto, since both of you had been assigned that chore this week.

Usually, Bokuto was banned from driving. The mix of going over the speed limit and getting distracted with the most ridiculous things while driving had been the cause. He normally didn’t argue about it, but today he begged and pouted until you agreed on letting him drive.

“Bokuto, you had to turn left there, idiot.”

“Uh, we are going to another supermarket today.”

“What, why?”

“Uhhh- there’s a- No.” He stopped mid-sentence, rethinking what he was about to say. “I want a special brand of cereals they only sell there.”

“Uh-hu.” He was definitely lying. But you decided not to push it and see where this lead.

At the supermarket he didn’t even buy cereals and you just laughed silently at that, amused by the situation. What was he hiding?

After putting the groceries in the backseat, Bokuto started driving again and ten minutes later he parked in front of a big building which had statue of Saturn in front of it.

“Ta daa!” Bokuto smiled at your dumbfounded face.

“The planetarium?”

“You told me you liked space and stars and all that stuff and I hadn’t been here so I thought it would be a cool plan for today.”

“Dude, this is more than cool, it’s awesome. I’ve wanted to come here since I first moved into the city. Let’s go.”

It really was amazing. Every room different from the one before, full of projections of galaxies and stars, planets hanging from the ceiling. You had loved everything related to space since you were a child.

The next room was almost completely dark, the only light coming from the stars and nebulas projected on the ceiling. People were sitting at the rows of benches in the centre of the room listening to the recording that was playing from the speakers: a male voice speaking about the big bang, the creation of the Universe as we know it, what stars are made of… By your side you heard Bokuto whisper “Oh, what is this button for?” Before pressing it, making the recording start again. The visitors who had been listening to it turned to Bokuto, clearly mad and you had to go into the next room, trying to hold in your laughter while you heard him trying to apologize and messing up after saying “Hey, think about it, this way you can enjoy this great story two times. Isn’t that cool?”

The last room was the most amazing one in your opinion. Soft lights simulating the Milky way as you saw it from Earth. In the back part of the room projections of other galaxies of all types illuminated the room even more. The soft music that was coming out from the speakers made you feel like you were floating and you just stood there looking at everything that surrounded you.

So absorbed in your thoughts, you didn’t notice how Bokuto was looking at you, as if you were the most beautiful thing he had ever seen, even surrounded with all these galaxies, which, in your opinion, were much more beautiful than you (more beautiful than anything, really). He felt his heart skip a beat and tried to ignore it, getting his phone out of his pocket and then taking a picture of you standing there, surrounded by stars. He wanted to remember this sight forever.

When you were in the car again, driving home, you turned on your phone and were surprised when you got a notification from Instagram. Bokuto had uploaded a photo of you standing in that last room, stars all around you while you looked at them like a child. He had tagged you in it and the caption said “Out of this world”. It already had thousands of likes and comments, after all he had a ton of followers.

“You put a photo of me on your insta?”

“Yeah, it’s a great photo and I like having photos of my friends.” He smiled widely without getting his eyes off the road. Truly, his Instagram profile mostly consisted of photos of his friends, and you had appeared on his story more than once, but still, him uploading that picture made your heart beat a little faster and you had to push aside unwanted thoughts, related to some feelings you were trying to avoid.

Still, you couldn’t help the blush that appeared on your cheeks when after going into the picture comments you were surprised by hundred of them that said “I ship them” and variations of that. You wanted to reply to every single one, telling them that no, there was no point in shipping you or whatever because you were just friends and it would keep being like that. Sighing, you slipped your phone into your pocket and spent the rest of the drive side-eyeing Bokuto, who was distractedly singing along to the songs playing on the radio, a smile on his face, as always.


	6. 6. Addicted

On the last week of June, the Japan V. League was supposed to throw a party to celebrate the opening act for the Summer Volleyball Tournament. All the players from the top teams would be there, as well as journalists, sponsors… It was a pretty important event, so when Atsumu asked you to attend the party with them (everyone was allowed to bring one extra person if they wanted to), you were equally excited and nervous.

From what you had seen on the photos Atsumu had sent you the previous years, the etiquette was strict, and you were expected to dress up for the occasion; so, the prior week to the event, you went shopping with a friend, trying to find the right dress. In the end, not wanting to waste too much time on it, you bought long black satin dress, with a V neck and a slit going up on one of the sides. It was simple, pretty and it suited you.

Right now, the five of you were exiting the apartment, you in your black dress and your four friends wearing their respective suits. The whole group together looked straight out of a magazine. The four of them, all dressed in black, standing tall couldn’t help but attract the gazes of everyone that walked by on the streets, while you were waiting for the cab to arrive. Even if they all looked amazing, the reality was that you had eyes for only one of them.

Bokuto’s hair was combed back. His suit fitted him perfectly, not too tight on his body but enough to notice how muscular he was. Even if you hated to admit it, you had felt hot the moment you saw him, heat pooling in the pit of your stomach. It was almost painful having to restrain yourself from walking over and kissing him right there and now.

The event was held in one of the most luxurious Hotels in Osaka, so there was no need for you to book anything for the night, you could all easily go back home at the end of the party, which made things easier.

Once inside the party you were welcomed with plates full of expensive looking dishes, drinks and cocktails of all kinds, and soft music playing in the background. You made your way through the crowd following Atsumu and the others until you noticed more familiar-looking faces ahead -the rest of your cousin’s teammates-, but what surprised you was another familiar face among them.

“Suna?” You asked, surprised to see him there. You knew he had followed the volleyball path just like Atsumu, and that he was in one of the top teams as well, but it hadn’t actually crossed your mind that obviously he would attend this party.

“Y/N?” He turned to you with wide eyes. “I didn’t know you were coming. Wow… it’s been so long. You look great.”

“Five years. You’ve grown a lot.”

Both of you started talking to each other, asking questions about life, old friends and things from the past. Soon you started sharing old memories from high school and laughing together, a comfortable complicity between you two.

“Are they friends?” Bokuto asked Atsumu after observing you for a while.

“Well, she used to hang out with us a lot back in high school and they were pretty close. Actually, they became more than friends. I think they were each other’s first kiss?” Atsumu chuckled at the memory. “I’ve always thought he had feelings for her, but then she left, and he probably never had the opportunity to confess. Who knows, maybe this night will be even more interesting than I was expecting.”

The blonde one sipped his drink while scanning the crowd, looking for Kiyoomi, and failing to notice how the expression his friend wore had changed quickly.

Bokuto’s heart felt heavy in his chest. He didn’t like the feeling. Fuck, he was not supposed to have this kind of feelings, those had been the rules.

You looked happy talking to Suna, and Bokuto liked seeing you happy. But deep inside him, he felt uneasy at the possibility of another guy taking his place.

_“Your place? You don’t really have a place in her heart.”_ He winced at that and shook his head, trying to get rid of his thoughts. But as soon as he looked at your face again, they came back. So, he decided to do what seemed like sensible decision at the moment: Look for Shoyo and get drunk in order to forget whatever he was feeling.

Or, on the contrary, get drunk in order to sink even more in his hopelessness.

* * *

You had talked with Suna for almost an hour, although it felt like 5 minutes. There were so many things you had wanted to tell him. And you wanted to know everything that had happened to him during this five years too. He had been a pretty important person during your teenage years; first a friend, then things had evolved into awkward first kisses and new feelings. Even if you hadn’t seen each other in years, the affection was still there and after talking for just two minutes, you felt as if you had never actually been away from each other.

Eventually you pushed him to go and talk to the others, promising that one of these days you would grab a coffee together so you could finish telling him all the crazy things that had happened to you in Europe.

After that, you had gone to the restroom and while you were making your way back to the party, you noticed a certain person standing on one of the balconies, away from the crowd.

Bokuto was looking at the night sky, deep in thought. His face was serious, it was unusual to see him wearing that expression outside of his volleyball matches. What was he doing here alone? He was always the soul of every party you had attended with him, he easily attracted people and loved having fun. Seeing him here, all alone, didn’t make any sense. You studied him for a moment without him noticing you, and then made your way into the balcony as well.

“Hey” You slipped next to him, smiling softly. “Everything okay?” He just nodded. Not talking either? Something was definitely off. “You sure?”

“Yeah, everything’s fine. Don’t worry about it.” He tried to show you a smile, but it was clearly forced. Well, you had tried talking to him, and you weren’t the kind of person to pressure anyone into telling you something, if they didn’t want to do it.

“Okay. I feel like you aren’t telling me everything but I’m not going to push you. Just know that if you need someone you can talk with, I’m here for you.” Your offer was sincere, but he still didn’t respond. You sighed and turned around, maybe you could go back to the party and get drinks for both of you. It felt bad seeing him like this.

“You are going back with him?” He asked as soon as you had your back to him.

“What? Going back with whom?”

“That guy with the cat eyes. Atsumu told me you had something going on back when you were in highschool.” He blurted out, words slipping on his drunken tongue.

“Suna? Eh- I don’t know, I mean if I see him again and he wants to talk more that’s cool.” Why was he asking about Suna? Did he want you to introduce him to… _Oh_. You suddenly realized what was this all about and your expression turned serious. This was exactly what you had wanted to avoid when you had made him promise “no feelings” the first time you had kissed. “Bokuto, you are aware I’m not your girlfriend, right?” You asked, sounded sharper than you would have wanted.

He eyes locked on yours. He was wearing a troubled expression. “I know that.”

“Good. Just so you know, I’m not planning on hooking up with anyone from the party. You know I’m not into doing that kind of things with strangers.”

“That guy is not a stranger to you.”

“I’m not planning on doing anything with him either. But, if I wanted to, if for any kind of weird reason I ended up bringing somebody home tonight, you would have absolutely no right to get mad about it. Remember that.” You turned around, but before you left you told him one more thing. “And of course, it would be perfectly okay if you brought somebody home tonight, I would have no right to feel betrayed either.”

Before he could answer you, you slipped back into the party, not wanting to face him anymore. Your stomach felt sick. Why were you feeling this way? Surely you wouldn’t care if Bokuto followed your advice and hit it off with another person, right? You felt you stomach drop again at the thought of that. Maybe you had focused so much on what your logical half told you -that if he found another person you didn’t have the right to be mad- that you had forgotten to ask yourself about what you other half thought, what you actually felt.

_It would hurt._

“Damn, am I already so into him? This is wrong. I have to get rid of these feelings.” You breathed in deeply, calming your nerves and started walking into the crowd. You would focus later on building up more walls around your heart, for now you just wanted to focus on getting drunk and forgetting about this for a bit.

* * *

A couple hours later, you weren’t thinking straight anymore. After coming back from your conversation with Bokuto, you had gone straight to Shoyo -the #1 friend when it came to drinking-, you found him next to his best friend, Kageyama, and both of them agreed that it was the right time to start with the shots.

While you drank and had fun talking with new people, Bokuto and you managed to avoid each other. Still, you caught each other eyeing the other multiple times during the night. Even though both of you tore your gaze away the second you locked eyes, the tension in the air between you two kept growing as the night went on.

Eventually, none of you could stand it anymore and one more understanding look was everything you needed before quietly slipping out of the party. You followed him through dark-lit corridors. Apparently he knew pretty well the directions to a pretty much hidden restroom on the fifth floor of the building.

As soon as the door closed behind you, your back was pressed against it, Bokuto’s lips on yours. Tongues sliding against each other, bodies pressed together, none of you tried to hide the wanting and desire you felt. He deepened the kiss, hands roaming on your clothed body. You helped him out of his jacket and pulled him even closer, grinding against him.

When the need for air was finally too much, you separated your lips, but stayed close, noses touching, looking into each other’s eyes.

“You seemed to know pretty well your way here. Brought many people in the previous parties?” You asked smugly.

“No one important.”

When he was leaning in again, you stopped him, putting two fingers on his lips. “Maybe we should talk about what happened earlier before doing this.”

“Everything is alright.”

“Koutarou.” You only called him by his first name when you were alone. “I saw something in your eyes. And I… I don’t want to do anything that could possibly hurt you. Can you swear you have absolutely no feelings, other than friendship, for me?” You held his face in your hands, looking into his eyes.

“I…” He swallowed thickly. His panicked eyes told you everything you needed to know.

“I should have known. We have to stop doing this. It’s getting out of hand and it will you will end up hurting. Sorry.”

“You are talking about me getting hurt. What about you? Can you swear you have no feelings for me? Because I’ve seen something in the way you look at me. I know I’m not imagining things.” He sounded mad, looking down at you with furrowed eyebrows.

“No. I don’t , uh-“ You really wanted that to be the truth. But deep down you knew it wasn’t. Bokuto knew too. He had learned how to read you perfectly during these months.

“I knew it was mutual.”

“The rules were no feelings.”

“Fuck the rules! If we like each other, why are we acting like idiots pretending we don’t?”

“Because I don’t like you!.”

“Yeah you keep saying that and I’m not buying it. I just don’t get-“

“BOKUTO IT’S OVER OKAY?!” He looked down at you, startled by the raise of volume in your voice. “Whatever the fuck this was, its over.”

He pulled away from you and crossed his arms, observing you with a neutral expression.

“Just like that?”

“Just like that.”

“And now what? You are going back to the party looking all flustered so your ex-boyfriend can take care of how wet I made you?”

“What? He’s not my ex-boyfriend! I thought we were over that.”

“Are you gonna bring him home tonight? So he can fuck you while you think about me?”

He pressed his body against yours again. Your cheeks burned, flustered, and your breath hitched. “Shut up.”

“I’m sure you would like that. Saying you hold no feelings for me, but imagining its me fucking you while another one does it. Though, I don’t think anyone would make you feel as good as I can. I know all your sweet spots.” He whispered that last sentence in your ear, making you shudder.

“You always act sweet but deep down you are such a jealous, possessive bastard, I-“ Your words died in your tongue when he smashed your lips against his one more time. Inside you, your rational part lost the battle once again, and you let yourself be consumed by the desire you felt at the moment.

“Koutarou…” You moaned his name when he started touching you through your dress. “This will be the last time. Promise me.” You begged in between kisses.

“Whatever you want.” He sounded breathless. Right now, he would give you anything you asked for, even if that meant breaking his own heart.

You kissed again and again, desperately pulling the other impossibly closer. Soon, your fingers started working on the buttons on his shirt, while he focused on biting and sucking at your neck. When his shirt was finally open, he didn’t bother on taking it off, and just let you slip your hands beneath it, touching everywhere.

The hand that had slipped beneath your dress made its way between your legs, and pushing your panties aside, long fingers started touching you slowly, making you gasp against Bokuto’s mouth. Impatient, you quickly zipped his pants down and started stroking him.

“Come on, just fuck me already.” You begged.

“I can’t.” You threw him a questioning look. “I… I didn’t bring protection. I thought we would do this at home.” He chuckled nervously.

“Oh… Uh, it’s okay. I’m on the pill. And none of us have any STD’s.”

“You sure?”

“Please just do it.”

He wasn’t going to tell you no when he was dying to put it in. He lifted you up and managed to position himself before pushing in. You threw your head back, a low moan slipping from your lips, while he rested his face on your chest, panting.

You looped your hands around his neck, pulling him in for another kiss. Lost in the sensations, you pushed your feet against his backside, telling him to go harder, deeper.

Suddenly, he pulled out and brought you, still in his arms, to the counter. There, he set you down before turning you around and bending you over the surface. His lips connected to your shoulder, leaving open mouthed kisses there, making you tremble under him.

Slipping his hands beneath your dress, he yanked your panties down, letting them drop around your ankles, and pushed inside you once again. Overwhelmed by the sensations, you let your head drop down, against your arms while he thrusted in and out, again and again.

“Come on, look at me.” He whispered against your ear.

Shyly lifting your head up, you looked at your reflection in the mirror that was in front of you and realized how gone you were. Eyes glassy, pupils wide blown, cheeks red, your hair a mess. Behind you, Bokuto grabbed your hips with a vice grip and started pumping in again, skin slapping against skin, the sound resonated through the bathroom.

“Come on, do it harder.” You moaned, your mouth against your arm again, trying to muffle the sounds that were coming out of your mouth.

Bokuto obeyed and gripped your hips harder, pulling you back to meet every thrust. He totally lost himself in the pleasure. When one of his hands ghosted over your clit and started rubbing it, you completely lost it and came. Your walls clamping around his dick, Bokuto came too, balls deep inside you, letting out groans of pleasure. You could feel him softening before pulling out. He rested his head on your back while both of you tried to regain your ability to breath normally. He then lifted up his head, locking eyes with you on the mirror. You trembled beneath his look. You were really addicted to him. You were addicted to each other. If this kept going, it wouldn’t end well. You would end up hurting him. You always hurt people.

“This was the last time. It has to end.” The words came out from your mouth in a whisper.

“Okay.”

“From now on we are friends. Nothing else.”

You saw a flash of hurt swipe over his face in the mirror. “Okay.”

He pulled away from you, zipping his pants and trying to look composed, while you awkwardly pulled up your panties and tried to look presentable as well. You looked at each other in silence. There was so much tension in the air. Usually after finishing off, there were some kisses, some affection. Not today. Just friends.

“Come on.” You took his arm wearily. “Let’s get back to the party.”


	7. 7.Friends

_‘Everything is fine.’_

You kept telling that to yourself.

Everything was not fine.

You were an expert at ignoring emotions and feelings. Had been doing it all your life. So after that night at the party, you had managed to get a summer job at an animal shelter that was looking for volunteers. Now you spent most of your day there, head occupied with your duties, allowing you to ignore your problems; and when you went back home at night you were usually so tired that you fell asleep as soon as your head hit the pillow.

You managed to keep your brain and heart from exploring unwanted thoughts and feelings. And it worked most of the time.

But one look into his eyes was enough to make the walls around your heart begin to crumble.

Bokuto wasn’t handling it so well.

Unlike you, he always wore his heart on his sleeve. He was open, natural, never afraid to show whatever he was feeling.

Everytime you locked eyes with him, you couldn’t help but think he looked like a kicked puppy. You wanted to wrap your arms around him and comfort him. But that would be no good.

For now, you would focus on restoring the previous friendship status you had shared for months. His feelings would eventually fade. So would yours.

But those golden eyes made it difficult for you to keep your cool around him.

Of course, the change in his behaviour hadn’t gone unnoticed by the others.

“Seriously dude, you need to focus” Atsumu lectured him while all of you were having dinner together. Apparently he hadn’t done well at the team daily training today.

“Sorry.”

“Is everything alright? You know you can talk to us about anything.” Hinata, encouraging as always, patted him on the back.

_‘Should I say something?’_ You thought. That is what you would have done normally. Maybe you should do it just to keep the façade, but you didn’t want to add salt to the wound, so you stayed quiet, eyes on your plate.

“Nah, everything is fine guys. Thank you. I’m probably just tired, I haven’t been sleeping well these last days. I’ll go to sleep early and tomorrow I will be able to focus perfectly.” Bokuto lied to his teammates, forcing out a smile.

Before he left to his room that night, your eyes found his again and you both quickly look away.

Things shouldn’t be like this. You were both adults, you should have a conversation and settle things. Go back to how things were before.

But you didn’t know how to approach him. You weren’t even sure if he would want to talk about it. After all, what was happening was your fault, not his.

And so, days flew by, with you growing more and more impatient, still not able to go ask him to sit down with you and talk about what had happened.

You were being an idiot. You knew that. And postponing this would only make things worse.

During the next days, he still wasn’t able to concentrate at his 100%, but things seemed to be getting better and when on Wednesday they had their first match of the Summer Tournament and won, you were finally able to breathe in relief.

From the day after the party and up to that moment you had been worried about a lot of things, but there was one thing that had worried you the most: the fear that messing up with Bokuto’s feelings would have a negative impact on his career. Professional players needed a lot of concentration in every single match they played, and seeing how unfocused he had been on the previous days to the match had worried you a lot. But again, now it seemed that everything was fine. Things still needed to be fixed, but at least there was one less thing you had to be worrying about.

* * *

On Saturday afternoon you were sitting outside a coffee shop enjoying the sunny weather. Sakusa silently sipped his drink, sitting next to you. Both of you had gone grocery shopping and after finishing he had suggested grabbing something to drink and sitting outside for a bit. That was weird, he usually wanted to go home as soon as he finished doing whatever he had to do outside the apartment.

“I wanted to talk to you” He finally admitted. “But I thought you would prefer the others not being around for this conversation.”

“What is it?” You asked, a bit nervous.

“Did something happen at the party from last week?” When you widened your eyes, not really knowing how to reply to that, he kept talking. “If you don’t want to talk about it, it's fine. It is your privacy after all. But I, well, _we_ all have noticed a change in Bokuto’s behaviour. He is not as loud as usual, and unable to focus while playing. He did well on the first match, but I’m worried he can’t keep up. So I would like to know if there is something going on.”

You sighed loudly. How could you explain to him the situation? It wasn’t a break up, because there hadn’t been a relationship to begin with. It was hard to explain, but you had wanted to talk to someone about all of this. You needed a friend.

“The short story is that everything is a mess because we couldn’t keep feelings out of what was happening between us. So I kind of broke things off and now there is nothing going on anymore, and both of us are sad about it I guess?”

“So you like each other and you are sad because you are… not together? I don’t get it.”

“It sounds stupid, I know. I would have the same reaction if I were you. But… I don’t know. I liked what we had, but feelings and all of that stress me out. A relationship is too much responsibility.”

“And have you told him that?”

“No.” He gave you a questioning look, wanting you to elaborate on that. “First of all, I was drunk at the moment.”

“You’ve had a whole week since then to talk to him.”

You stayed silent for a moment. He was right. What was keeping you from just talking with him and expressing what you really felt?”

“I guess I’m scared.” You whispered.

“About what?”

“Commitment? I don’t know, honestly.” Oh, but you knew. You were afraid of losing people. You had already lost so many people in your life. What would be the point of starting a relationship if everyone was going to leave you in the end? You would rather be alone that go through all of that again.

Shaking off those thoughts, you stood up and threw your paper cup into a near bin. “Well, enough with the therapy session. What we need to focus on is how to make sure Bokuto is fine and focused on the game. Any ideas?” You paused for a second, interrupting when he was going to open his mouth. “Ideas that don’t involve me talking about feelings.”

He shut his mouth and thought for a moment. “I don’t know, its not like I’m the best at this kind of things either. I would simply talk to him as you used to and try to go back to being friends? But maybe you can wait until after the match we have on the day after tomorrow. We don’t know how your words will affect him, I think is better to play safe, for the sake of the team and his professional career.

Yeah, that would work. And you would have two more days to think well of what you wanted to say to him. It was a pretty good plan. Everything was going well.

And then everything went wrong during the next match. You were watching it on tv from home, cheering for them as usual. They were close to the end of the third set and the team which won this one would have the victory.

The game was being intense, both teams giving their 100%, trying to score points with all their strength. One more point. They only needed one more point to win. In the rush of the moment, with the adrenaline running through his whole body Bokuto ran and jumped, his arm sliding down and his hand hitting exactly the spot where Atsumu had set the ball. When the referee stated that it was a valid point and whistled to announce the end of the match the whole stadium cheered; MSBY players run to hug each other.

You should be happy, but your heart felt heavy in your chest because the camera was now focusing on Bokuto. Your eyes were locked on the screen of your tv, which showed Bokuto wearing a painful expression. His teammates, realizing something was wrong called for the medical professionals that were always there in case something happened.

While he was being attended, the journalist that were talking off screen pointed out that apparently when he had jumped, his ankle had made a weird twist. They were talking about a potential injury. You waited in silence for more news about Bokuto's condition, but after a while it seemed that they weren’t going to say anything else, so you turned off the tv and checked your phone to see if Atsumu had texted you anything about it. No news there either.

You waited and waited for them to come home. You felt uneasy and needed to know what had happened as soon as possible, but it was 01:00am and they still weren’t home so you finally went to bed after writing to Atsumu that you hoped everything was alright.

Next morning after you woke up, you found both Atsumu and Hinata sitting silently at the dining table. None of them looked as if they had had a relaxing night of sleep.

“What happened? Is he okay?” You asked, taking a seat as well.

“Sprained ankle. He won’t be able to play for at least two weeks.” Your cousin replied, his eyes fixed on a coffee mug that was on top of the table. “He will be off the team until semifinals at least, if we can make it there without him.”

* * *

Even though it was early in the morning, everyone was awake. Hinata, Atsumu and Sakusa were leaving today. For the next two weeks they would be off town due to the Summer tournament; the matches were being held in different cities all over the country.

“You sure you got everything?” You asked your cousin handing him his keys.

“Yes. And stop acting like you are my mom, I’m 23.”

“23 and still an idiot. You almost forgot your bag last time you left for a tournament.”

He rolled his eyes and gave you a goodbye hug. He then looked over to where Bokuto was laughing and saying goodbye to Hinata and Sakusa. “I know you probably have plans and things to do, but please keep an eye on him.”

“Of course.”

“Akaashi will probably drop by to check on him and cheer him up; Hinata talked to him yesterday and gave him your phone number in case he needed anything.”

“Okay, don’t worry. And now go, your coach will be mad if you three are late.”

After a few more goodbyes and wishing them luck they finally left. When the door closed behind them and you turned around, Bokuto was already climbing up the stairs that led to his bedroom. And before you could even open your mouth his door slammed closed.

You sighed deeply. This was going to be difficult.

15 minutes later you were making your way to Bokuto’s bedroom. You knocked on the door twice before opening it and slipping inside.

“Are you awake?” Bokuto’s head popped from beneath the sheets and he groaned in response. “How are you feeling?”

“I’m fine.”

You sat down on the edge of his bed. “I made you hot chocolate. I know its July and its hot outside, but hot chocolate always calms me down so…”

“Oh, thank you.” He sat up, taking into his hands the mug you were offering him.

“It’s nothing.” You both stayed silent. The situation was a bit awkward, so you decided to open your mouth again and break the silence. “So… are you ok?”

“About not being able to play during some of the most important matches of the year? Yeah I’m feeling great.” He snapped back. You noticed the bags under his eyes.

“Sorry. That really was a stupid question.” On another occasion you would probably tell him to fuck off for being rude when you were just worried about him. But if he was acting like this…it probably meant that he was really really not doing well.

He run a hand through his hair and left the mug on the bedstand. “Nah, sorry. It’s not your fault. I shouldn’t talk to you like that. Sorry.”

“It’s okay. Really. And… I know I’m not the best at giving out advice, but if I may say something this time, I want to tell you to trust your team. Focus on recovering while they make their way up to the semifinals so you can repay them when you come back scoring more points than ever.”

“I trust them. They are all amazing players and I know they can do it. I’m just mad at myself.”

“I understand. But it’s not like you can do much beside rest and recover.” He nodded absentmindedly. “For now, focus on resting. Go to sleep a bit more, I can drive you to the physiotherapist later if you want.” You pushed him down on the bed and threw the covers over him, tucking him in.

“You don’t have to do that. You probably have better things to do, so don’t worry,”

“I insist.”

“As you wish.”

Awkward silence again.

You cleared your throat, decided to fix things now. “I’m sorry for the weird situation. I’ve wanted to talk to you since that night, but I didn’t know how… I really want us to be friends again. I miss it.”

“I would like that too.”

“You aren’t mad at me?”

“I still don’t really get it… But I also don’t want to push you into anything. So if you want us to be just friends, I respect it.”

“Thank you.”

He smiled softly at you and your heart skipped a beat. Damn it. Just friends. Focus.

“Well then I’ll be going, you need to sleep.”

Resisting the urge to kiss him on the forehead and stay there laying next to him, you exited the room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay I literally now NOTHING about sport injuries so I just did a bit of google research about expected recovery time for this but just dont pay much attention to it <3


End file.
